Finished Folds (2441—2460)
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3found out that senseless violence gave me a new purpose in life. I went on the self-help circuit with my new book "I feel up when I push you down." America was fighting back.
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2I sat at the piano again. My lyricist leaned over my shoulder. I riffed. "This whole predicament is Stu-pid. I missed the arrow of Cu-pid." What would Disney think? By tomorrow,
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4Your little .gif winked at me every couple of secs. The dayglo green smiley face brightened my nights. And message on the bottom "I digz grrlz" sent palpitations. I had to find you
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5"Yeah but your father is not the scourge of the galaxy which runs the Empire with an iron fist." Luke then pouted in the corner. For a new Jedi Master, he was a bit of a wuss.
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4. My delusions of grandeur knew no bounds. "I could crush you like cockroaches!" (I said to the cockroaches.) My apartment was my fiefdom, but how to tax the rats?
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4if I knew that 'up' was the 'on' or the 'off' position. They also asked if I knew how many plant workers could screw in a light bulb. They wanted to know if the atom was my friend.
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5She picked up her fiddle. He introduced the other players. "Mike here plays a mean crumhorn, and Ezekiel has an electric hammered dulcimer. We like to play Nordic Pagan Prog Rock."
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4his X, Q, came back into the scene. She was having a fling with U; they were always seen together. T blew his top and became an I, always thinking about himself.
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2did her gang signs to the crowd as I vaulted over the thrust stage on my dirtbike. The stunt ran smoothy until Dion hit the high note in "My Heart Will Go On." Ironically,
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4"We need to get them when they're young!" said the editor-in-chief as he slammed down his coffee. "Newspapers need to be written for toddlers. More stories on duckies!" As an ace,
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4I tried to explain to the denizens at the food court what a 'book' was. "It's like a blog except it is on pieces of pulped wood." They stared blankly. "Where's the scroll bar?"
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4laser beam torpedoes (Kapow! Kapow!) and it could go faster than light and shoot microwaves. My plans for a Doomsday Roomba were almost complete, until I ran out of green crayon.
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4set up a smoke monster with dry ice and strobe lights. The rest of the island survivors belived they were cursed by supernatural forces. Only she knew it was a hoax. The hatches
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1you couldn't recall being attacked by that slab of meat. Your leg is stiff from the loaded rifle and your 9-day coma. The doctor arrives and gives you the thumbs up. You're free to
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2into the deep fried digit. He quickly snapped it from her hands and rushed himself to the emergency room. They were able to reattach it in spite of the crispy coating. Meanwhile,
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5The forest ranger snapped his cell phone. He wondered how many more land mines were planted in the California Northern Woods. He surveyed the still smoldering boots of a pot farmer
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4on the top of a cable car. Trevor, invisible street ninja of San Francisco, had to avoid the high voltage wires and paying a fare. His mission was to sneak into a Sourdough bakery,
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3some cascading barrels and wayward balls of fire. I dug in deeper with my mountaineer's mallet. We were in persuit of the abominable ape known in Tibet as 'Don Kay Kahng.'
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5mbled Tostitos in my morning Cherrios. It added exactly the right amount of texture to a pleasant breakfast. I thought, "What else haven't I tried?" OJ and chocolate syrup was next
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5oakwood desk. The cow liberian noticed my surreptitious love sonnet. She raised her liquid pools to my eyes. "So, do you want to go out for a milkshake?" (stupid! stupid!)