Finished Folds (3021—3040)
-
3that your alergy is one with the balance of nature." Her karmic aura was hitting me in waves. "Come into the light." the strange pharmacist beckoned. "Just Nyquil," I wheezed.
-
8He peeped into the Jim Beam bottle. It took him two years, but it was finally done, the entire Manhattan skyline out of balsa wood and toothpicks. Then he sneezed,
-
12let her open a Facebook account. I could see mom tending Farmville on the internet while I was sizing coffins. She had 200 friends but I was the only one at her funeral.
-
1was set to Hard Rock 97. Before I could hit the snooze, Anthrax hit me with "I am the Man" at ear shattering decibles. The roof of my mouth was breeding lichen. Mondays are God's
-
5was worried as he peared over his ray-bans. "Are sure you have trapper keeper, lunch money, and butterfly knife?" "Oh dad," I said as I shut the door and skipped to the flag pole.
-
1.... I didn't know that Dr. Spock's child-rearing guide was so Draconian. So, I decided to raise my baby by the Mr. Spock method. She learned the nerve pinch at two. Mind-melding
-
3go back in time. Not many people knew that Terry, her guinea pig, could travel this way, they just thought he was an escape artist. But Little Suzy knew, she strapped a watch and
-
3It was known as a Sleepy Time. Users would experience vivid dreams but the withdrawals would cause instant somnambulism. Hordes of people where sleep walking across the country.
-
5full on the nose. I thought french kissing involved the tongue, but she was from the border of Belgium. "Palm Frites, Silvouplay" I tried to remember more of my 7th grade class.
-
1down the road. The trucker swerved to the siding and looked at the damage of his rig. Suddenly, a bespeckled teen on a broomstick flew by. "Damn quidditch..." the trucker muttered.
-
7she said, "XYZ PDQ." I hadn't heard that since the third grade. I quickly turned and adjusted my fly."About the rai..." My boss went back to playing minesweeper. "You may go."
-
0Is this your card? No, wait.... Um... Is this your card? ( I knew I put it somewhere.) Okay, let's just start over. (Shuffle, shuffle.) Okay, now. Pick a card. Hold it. Don't tell
-
2The kids followed me like a pied piper. "Whatcha doing? Where are you going?" I jumped in the limo. Five tots hopped in before I could close the window. "I'm 5 years old. Candy?"
-
4Not many have the money for a horticulturist barber. It takes time to shave an entire rose garden with a straight-edge, but the results are spectacular. Mr. Bean had hired me for
-
3drink beer in the oval office. Old Ulysses would invite his collegues to a BBQ in the rose garden. He wore an apron that read, "Blue or Gray, I just like 'em, Well done!" Some felt
-
4in the joints is then followed by a need to hangout in cathedrals. Many a paralyzed troll that sits atop a roof is the result of pigeon ingestion. Medical science has helped by
-
2, a blue ribbon at the state fair for his gooseberry jam. At the dairy barn, the glorious leader's head was carved in butter. The S Koreans were envious.
-
5appealed to the sensibilities of the incoming troops. "Why can't we just all get along?" I said. In a moment, we all sat together in an apple pie circle and expressed our feelings.
-
7banana and turned to Warhol, "Top that." Andy smiled and looked at Pablo. "I print 200 soup cans and sell them at $100,000 dollars a piece." Dali walked in, "That's nothing."
-
3What was it about Goofus and Gallant? He continued reading the magazine as the lights were switched off in the waiting room. He had been locked inside the Doctor's office. "Oops."