Finished Folds (1481—1500)
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2on that bet." I looked at my soul; it was full of holes. Pitch stammered, "Sorry, I tried to get the sulphur smell out and... you know." Last time I deal with this company.
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3Roger Ebert looked at the woman across the bar, Annette Fonicello. He raised his glass in a toast. She smiled. Then Margaret Thatcher arrived, "Am I interrupting?"
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4There are some things you just can't practice, like zooming in a jet-propelled one-man rocket suit, either you do it or you don't.
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3"Here are the plans, don't give them to anyone!" said my double in a polka-dot suit and disappeared in a blue flash. My double in a striped suit appeared, "I want those back."
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3indignation. For he, was the brightest of the bunch when it came to creative off-the-cuff folds. Why did insomnia inspire a chance to lord it over amateur hacks?
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3ART NARRATIVES FOR THE BLIND: MC Escher, White Geese flying left, Black geese flying right, repeat ten times.
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1My ancestors would get up at the break of dawn to feed cows, mow hay, chop wood and fix the fence. I just got winded delivering my bills to the post box in the rain.
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6So I stood up in the class, "So what you are telling me is that we should vivisect the poor's brains in hopes of finding a cure for cancer?" The professor stammered "Um.. let me
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6"IIt tain't fair!" the troll grumbled as he tapped the screen. "Tries ta show me best side after them Billy Goats Gruff, but look at dose forums! Usin' my name!"
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6still stares at me from beyond the grave. Which is why I keep the glassy orb in my pocket. It the only thing Grandpa left, the eye of an Icy irate pirate that ever seen Éire. Aye,
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7builds a bonfire, Enrico plays with it. We were playing games without frontiers - war without tears. It was a knock out.... or maybe a Halo death-match.
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2Come here and talk to your Uncle. Listen boy, if you want to invest in the future, two words. Pneumatic Tubes.
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4waved it giving the appearance of a wall. The touri crashed into the invisible barrier sending bagettes, berets, and striped shirts everywhere. A magus hates mimes.
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11Okay I got it. Street Sweeper Wars, Street Sweeper's Wives, Are You Smarter than a Street Sweeper? Celebrity Street Sweeper, So You Think You Can Street Sweep? Street Sweeper COPS!
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11"Who, me? I'm the guy that runs this joint. I tell ya. Tenants always complaining. During the Ice Age, they asked me to turn up the heat. Now its 'global warming.' What gives?"
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6reading done at the library without every hobo ogling me? I slammed my book down, ruffled my hair, adjusted my garter and stormed out. (Harumph.)
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7wed. "Death," I said politely. The vicar drew closer with the steel knife, "Really?" "Whoops, changed my mind, I'll have the cake." The vicar smiled "Oh sorry, fresh out of cake."
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5Do you ever read something you have written and wondered, "When did I write this?" and "Who is Susan?" and "What is the statute of limitations in this state?"
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5Miss Universe and open a casino in Atlantic City. And you have the nerve to complain that my toupee is tearing the drapes again. Well, I've had it!
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3I bumped into my Purple Bunny I had when I was 5. He put down his Blue Slurpie. "Why am I always in the 7-11 pantless dream? Can't you imagine anything else?"