Finished Folds (1501—1520)
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5beware of the bees! I'm through with this stand-up routine. Just crappy TV shows from now on!" With that the executive transvestite clicked his heels and vanished.
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11I sold everything and went on a three-day binge of hedonist delights. My doctor then called, "Forgot to add a zero at the end. You'll live for 30 years. Sorry, sending your bill."
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5around the McDonald's yodeling in the buff. "Let's eat sushi and not pay! Occupy Wallmart! Oraganize Anarchy!" They called themselves the Performance Art Nude Dadaist Association.
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6My parents gave me advice like "Don't talk with your mouth open." and "Hold my hand while crossing the street. I don't want to die alone."
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1e in bar tending. I felt that after a few stiff ones at the rail, II could talk to any girl. But all they taught us is how to make cocktails with colored water. What gives?
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9The Scarecrow did a sucker-punch upside his head. It rang out like a gong. "You heartless bastard! Dots is my gal!" Tin smiled, "If you had two brain cells to rub together, I'd
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5Vlad woke with a start, "I'm feeling much better doctur, vhat are you doing vit that stake?" Dr. Darcy hastily hid the insturment. "Just a precaution. Here's your bill."
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3Soulreaver, Blade of the Necromancer, was on a card table for 5 bucks next to a stack of Reader's Digest and a Easy-Bake oven with the bulb missing.
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2wants barbed by thorns of sharp regret' O prickly pear! Twixt you and a flower, has nature shown the vast range of its bounty? I embrace you (figuratively) as the one true fruit!
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10After 10 days of white-out in a pup-tent, the weather cleared and we ventured to the peak. When reaching the summit, I checked my GPS. We were on the wrong mountain
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3When the Swedish Pirate Party won a majority in parliament, all hell broke lose. The treasury went from the euro to the pieces-of-eight and doubloons.
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9love went pitter-pat in my heart. "Your pizza ma'am." he crooned. I smiled shyly as I took the box. wait-a-minute... green olives? I WANTED BLACK OLIVES!
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4It was the Japanese who discovered the benefits of deep-tissue kitty massage. A Russian Blue would walk up and down your back with claws extending and contracting. For migraines,
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6I looked at the ingredients label of my pie. "Ingredients: pie" That was it.
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4Jimmy Hoffa stepped out of his time machine and rubbed his stubbled chin. "Well, that worked!"
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1you take a swig of Guiness and raise the mug to the old country. Then you slam your steins in to the hearth and dance the night in straight lines tapping to the bodhran.
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3GROG COOK MEAT! "Ah, my dear chap but have you tried this?" I took the bread and put it on a stick over the fire. The cave man looked quizzically. "This is toast." GROG LIKE TOAST!
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6they evolve from half-baked ideas into full-blown delusions. They are then herded into pens, killed by crushing criticism, ground, and shipped to FS writers in 6-packs.
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5s. I quickly slammed down the boot on my mini. I'd been framed! Where could I hide all these jugs of milk? Just then, I was hit by an eel from the French Hover Police. (deja vu)
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8Those copper lips, she was beautiful. It might have been the rustoleum she was huffing. I sauntered down the Walmart aisle and waved my Big Gulp. "Hey babe, Orange Fanta?"