Finished Folds (1541—1560)
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7Why would she look at Playboy in this waiting room? She was on the cover! I converged. "Hi, I see you made the cover." "I see you made a cover too" she said pointing to a copy of
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2I'm only alive for 180 characters? That doesn't give me much space to find out why we are all here. I'm already half way done? Wait! I want to live my life! My name is Bob (urk)
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8"BLACK CATS AND VOODOO DOLLS! heeya baby! 'sup?" Lola's husband stumbled out of the "He's Not Here." bar and grill swinging a bourbon bottle. Lola uncrossed her arms and hit PAUSE
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4A store clerk shot the budgie with a tranc gun. "Pity, now they have given pets sentience, the birds are always trying to escape." I heard a cat whisper behind my back. (Idiot.)
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7When New York's Macys unfurled the balloons for another Thanksgiving's day parade, no one knew what had been left in the back in 1924.
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1to sit in sub-zero temperatures as Kristi Olson carved their head out of butter. Minnesota American Teen Princess winner, Amber's false eyelashes were slowly fusing to her brows.
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5That is last time you will smuggle a rooster through customs. (flag save!) Fighting roosters don't travel well in cargo pants and after picking up the shreds of cloth at security,
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5I have a theory that three-year olds have a faster time frame of reference. In the two minutes it has taken for me to get her a glass of water,
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4I have the hardest time understanding why my one hand is an exact mirror image of my other hand. How did my right hand know what my left hand was doing?
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4candied yams. Cookie moped about as chef at our retirement home. He had been trained at the Culinary Institute of Arts and now he was forced to make deviled ham loaf. His prowess
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2your money honey? When she dropped the kids off at soccer, Gloria Monday would ride the rails playing 3-card monte with Catholic school girls in the back. She hustled to get
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11to my existential crisis. I peered into his beady eyes and saw the void staring back. Oh, cruel squirrel, harbinger of death tell me no more! He held the acorn in a miser's grip.
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4As a method actor, he was having a difficult time passing off as a little league shortstop with his 280 pound girth
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4d. How dare he insist that her first name would also be John. Dr. Smith felt last names were too passe. Dr. Sahatharraingorgoatashuaniathinogorgoghogh felt Martha was just fine.
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10Since High School, we have been playing one game of tag for fifteen years,
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7just tatted up with tribal elf motifs. Bilbo put down his clay pipe and glared at the dwarves. "Oy! you be cleaning those up right quick if you knews whats goods for yease."
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5I jumped off the Golden Gate bridge. In a strange quirk of fate, I got caught in a Green Peace banner. After my attempted suicide, I accidentally became the ecology poster boy.
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8knowing glance. "Look officer, I will put this twinkie on the table and walk away." The health cop drooled at the golden sponge cake bribe. it had been years since his last donut.
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3The committee was a conglomeration of nincompoops, busy bodies, and ne'er-do-wells. They were the puppet masters behind the movie ratings board.
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3who said you could grow up that fast? Last year you were 11. What's up with that? So I suppose you want another Birthday party. Fine, I'll get the graham crackers and kool-aid