Finished Folds (1741—1760)
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6Jerry and Gretta outstreched their hands to meet the tempest. "We are ready O, Lord!" God looked down from on high. "Oh get over yourselves, I'm just doing a little washing up."
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3"You're so totally into body-mod! Let me touch your neck bolts again!" and then the head fell off. "Oops."
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7I founded a Meetup group for people just like me. We could hang out at the community center and dwell in our loathing and self-pity together... and play Magic the Gathering.
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6I took the writer's block out to my car. I had to ask my neighbor to help lift it; he owed me a favor. The thrift store would take it. Last week, they took my artist's ennui.
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5He decided he would spend a few minutes longer in the strait-jacket. It gave him a warm snuggly feeling. Sighing, Houdini went back to work and gripped key in his teeth.
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3I crushed up the Sweettarts into a fine powder and snorted them up my nose. I looked at my boyfriend's raspberry-blue tinged nostrils. Was this the only way to prove my love?
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2he real problem is that the voices were from 40s radio shows. How can I do a job interview with the Great Gildersleeve harrumphing in the background? If I tilted my head,
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3time. If she concentrated, she could slow it down for short periods. It made it easier to catch the bus, but then she saw the gray men from the corner of her eye.
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6ng that the only partners in his bed where his two cats and a Sudoku collection. Maybe his ex-boyfriend would have him back? Why doesn't Hallmark have any cards for this?
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4"Thank God for chicken wire" the bartender thought as he served a patron through the sliding grate. They were rowdy tonight. Karaoke always brought out the worst in people.
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2"I can take you away from all this," he said as he pulled the Confederate Flag off the bed. She looked at the brass buttons on his blue uniform and just gave in, Union forever!
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6the spontaneous objects were never what you wanted. If you left an orange peel in the sink, the next morning you could find a left-handed glove.
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4. Dark clouds gathered. I quickly mixed the chemicals and held onto the Jacob's Ladder. Soon I would have Flash's powers. When the lightning hit, the cat walked in. Dammit, now I'm
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6I choked back my emotions and tried to defy her eagle-eyes. It was no use; she knew my crushed soul. I caved and handed her the remote. Ice Truckers switched to Downton Abby.
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6By averaging the photos of 10s on 'Hot or Not,' I got an image of the perfect girl. I decided to do the same with 300 illustrations of Jesus.
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4On the next deep space probe, we attached a hard drive containing all the LOL cat memes ever created. We hope that aliens will understand.
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4bricking up the spare room in the basement. With a white wash of paint, no one would ever know. I slept soundly until I heard a low pounding...
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8Bad pun vaudiville routines were capital offenses. [Editor's note - My wife left while I was proof-reading these gallies. She was seeing the author. I hate him.]
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7?" I stood in my bathrobe on the front porch. A small breeze was pulling me upward. There was a football field-sized hole in the sky, black against the blue. I dropped my mug.
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4But there was enough salt. Needed to make some ice cream? Just chip a handful from that stalagmite. And in spite of everything, At least I wasn't working in a Chilean pepper mine.