Finished Folds (281—300)
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8ing me to the doggie shoe department. "Press 1 if your dog has small feet, press 2 is your dog has huge feet" Those are my choices? LuLu Pickles has medium feet, I think. Oh God,
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6Cuban mafia. No amount of sit-ups could get Fr Handsey out of this dilemma. The mafia were looking for him, he owed way too much. Fr Handsey was hiding in his favorite
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5How did he stab himself in the spleen with a stalk of asparagus? Mauldin was confused, George didn't even like asparagus, he said it made his pee smell funny. Why would he
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1It's bad enough the music on the radio is playing sucky Pink songs, & now I have to take the monitor to the Apple store bc the cat peed on it, but do we have to play "What # am I
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5It took a sec for me 2 get out of the frenchfry haze I was in.OMG, the carnage! Hamburglar was halfway under the car, Birdie's leg was through the windshield, and there was 1 big
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2and it knocked over the trophy filled with tequila. This set off a chain reaction with the Ho's setting the bleachers on fire, &the Mexican JBeans tearing apart the hoop nets. What
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5Toner Pirates, they are the worst! More evil than CapnKid &LongJohnSilvers combined! How I was supposed to know it was all a scam? They sounded so legit, that is until 30 gallons
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4& proud. We all hid until the canary decided to land on the table. The canary looked rabid, & after looking at the Petco box we did see the cat we ordered, or at least parts of the
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4PETA was protesting, but hey, this is ART. It took some convincing, but I sold every piece of Weasel Art, and I decided to be braver and be bolder with my next piece. I went to the
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1was hurt by the lack of appreciation for the hard work he put into the exhibit. So the mango grabbed his BFF, and the 2 went to the rooftop terrace to get away from the art critics
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9It's been great, me, jimmy, billy &fernando. We R all 20 years old now & in college, so instead of fake ID & trying to score w/ chicks, we were playing tag. For 15 years, I dread
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5that sea monkeys really do exist! My theory was correct! The only problem was these weren't normal sea monkeys, these were indeed the rarest of ALL species of sea monkeys. This
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10"no, I said parakeet head, not manakete head." Well, what can we do with this then? I handed him the box with the bird head and my sister's tears. The blacksmith thought deeply 4
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4anticipation. Once that fantastic pink powder touched my taste buds, I was thrown back into my happy place. A place filled with fuzzy hamsters, roller skates and pounds of Fun Dip.
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4I tried to cleanse that awful idea from my head, by thinking of other things, but the memory stuck. Finding the tooth in that sausage was the worst part of the trip, I couldnt even
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3He needed to branch out. Fat Elvis, maybe? Madonna? Pink Gorilla? Yes! That was it! Pink Gorilla! He tossed his Elvis wig into the drawer, and looked online for the perfect
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4"monkeypants" I mumbled 2myself as Im looking for a rag 2 clean up the mess. I glanced out the window again, ¬iced, no way, it can't be?! a freaking TRex chomping down on my nei
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2I was really lonely, so my parents bought me this huge spider that I named Ted. Ted was really hungry one day and decided to bite my mom, which caused an infection, so she died.
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4was the point. In the clean mouth house we had plenty of Listermint, TicTacs, toothpaste and swearing jars. The swearing jars got much more use than the toothpaste, they were
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5So the security guard did what any good mall cop would, he grabbed my willy and I was forced to the ground. The mall cop stood over me grinning madly as he put me back in cuffs,