Finished Folds (341—360)

• 3
  high school English teacher tried to correct my grammar of my screams of anguish instead of sympathizing with my plight. I was burning alive, for heavens sake, this was no time to

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  Davodd

  Folded

  2011-02-18 16:03:50

• 1
  put a pink Sysco urinal cake on the plate. She withdrew her hand, not knowing what it was, but was intrigued by it's scent, which reminded her of

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  Davodd

  Folded

  2011-02-18 16:00:58

• 0
  punched himself in the face for being girly. Maybe if he hit hard enough he'd stop dwelling in the mens underwear section of Target to look at the model photos on the packages. His

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  Davodd

  Folded

  2011-02-18 15:58:24

• 6
  up the phone bill calling my favorite 1-900-tele-psychic to figure out what this meant. She told me that

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  Davodd

  Folded

  2011-02-18 15:55:44

• 2
  get past these needless questions and move on? Oprah! It was her 25th and final season, so I watched more than usual. I had the DVR programmed today because her guest was

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  Davodd

  Folded

  2011-02-18 15:52:29

• 3
  fence, too distracted by my mission to realize one of the barbs had snagged my pants and ripped the crotch out of my retro acid-wash jeans. The ripping sound was drowned out by the

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  Davodd

  Folded

  2011-02-18 15:49:28

• 2
  endulge in shop therapy at the local Goodwill. Bad economy or not, I needed a fix. But when I walked through the door of the store, my nose was assaulted by the odor of

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  Davodd

  Folded

  2011-02-18 15:43:31

• 2
  Additionally, it also could explain that funky smell in the fridge. She muttered nonsense to herself, popped in her teeth and

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  Davodd

  Folded

  2011-02-18 07:32:26

• 2
  My cat has an armpit fetish; which is strange to begin with, but it gets weird when

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  Davodd

  Folded

  2011-02-18 06:50:17

• 1
  lot when he realized he'd just caught his nose hairs and soul patch on fire. Like a typical hipster, he reacted by

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  Davodd

  Folded

  2011-02-17 18:25:30

• 1
  macrame was all the rage and the Brady Bunch was still on TV and not in reruns? Nowadays, people just

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  Davodd

  Folded

  2011-02-17 18:19:41

• 2
  self marveling at how the fine piece of gorgeous I fondled could still be single at age 38 and 1/2. I was shocked back into reality as the demon jackrabbit was just about to

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  Davodd

  Folded

  2011-02-17 18:16:45

• 3
  class, but they do not make practical IUDs. Instead, I opted for the silver

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  Davodd

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  2011-02-17 18:11:00

• 2
  He sat there chewing, until he noticed movement, looked over and a huge cockroach was staring back at him from the super-size french fries container, its feelers wiggling and

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  Davodd

  Folded

  2011-02-17 18:04:21

• 1
  because the Mom had been secretly schtooping the UPS delivery guy because Dad was more interested in saving himself for Jesus than the making Mom happy "down there." Her child

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  Davodd

  Folded

  2011-02-17 17:57:35

• 2
  than cinders, twisted metal and a few stray

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  Davodd

  Folded

  2011-02-17 17:51:45

• 1
  by the correct caliber until you have the correct caliper measurements. That's what got us smack dab in the middle of this

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  Davodd

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  2011-02-17 17:48:40

• 3
  But I was too busy checking out his. Thank god the UPS HR department hires straight out of the CW acting pool, this delivery guy was H-O-T hot. We took to ordering things just to

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  Davodd

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  2011-02-17 17:41:35

• 3
  parasitic organisms that much be destroyed before they suck all the vital juices from our

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  Davodd

  Folded

  2011-02-04 18:41:10

• 0
  on the toilet than might wishing he'd never tried the Hot Wing flavored Ruffles as he now was becoming intimately familiar with the term, "ring of fire." He fought back little sobs

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  Davodd

  Folded

  2011-02-02 15:06:34