Finished Folds (581—600)
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4gummed up worse than an old folks home on lime Jello day. He fumbled with the switch in vain, trying to get fresh air as the vehicle filled with methane and sulfide gasses. With a
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1the skank ho. Her creativity was short lived as she recognized the anal beads on the coffee table and started to blush profusely. The ho hadn't known that
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3on impact. Which it did. Luckily, the ship seat belts and airbags worked as they all survived. The problem; they were alone on an uncharted planet and no one knew to rescue them.
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0gone awry. His ply solace was listening to audio books narrated by Christina Pickles. Something about her voice soothed his
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0Indianapolis, Indiana had seen better days. The odor of tequila and vomit wafted his way as he gagged back his last meal. He turned to collect himself and saw
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3copious amounts of alcohol -for his home care nurse. He demanded to watch the local cable access station in hopes they would be bringing sexy back. No luck in 5 years, but he still
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6pretend his Etch-a-Sketch was as good as any Kindle or iPad. Kinda like he pretended he still liked seeing his wives naked when they were 8 months pregnant. The Mormon compound
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2the life of a coffee-swilling hipster wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Vowing internally to turn over a new leaf, he
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2the heavyset dancers, which was too bad since they were quite good - although they smelled of quiche and freshly harvested turnips for some reason. Poppy just kept giggling at the
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3But now their magic Mormon underwear started tingling, which could only mean one thing for Fred and his companion:
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5cat's over-flowing litter box, scattering litter - and scat - everywhere. Meanwhile, the dog hid under the bed whimpering. Worse yet, the room filled with the peculiar odor of
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3base of the skull and they could poach a naughty kid's brain from two miles away. That's why Santa insisted they check the list twice. The two most senior reindeer then
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1Worked as a bell ringer for the Salvation Army. He purposely chose this charity because it discriminated avaunt gay people. He was a hateful cuss, but he rang that bell, smiled and
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2with the cast of Dancing With the Stars. No, nothing could prepare you for
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2in a make-shift raft fashioned from a salvaged Red Ryder wagon. The smell of popcorn and toasting marshmallows lightened the mood as the little imps attempted to make s'mores and
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1I was such a quiet type. Typical. I kept my former lovers' decapitated bodies in a
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4with a deodorizing disinfectant since it was stinking up the joint. That's better Tank though to himself, ignoring Zaya's indignant look. She was busy making loomed potholders for
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2started beating Tonya Harding with a bratwurst and
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3birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Maybe they are retarded. Maybe it's Maybelline.
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0stabbed his freshly shorn scrotum for popping up in the most inappropriate places. He winced in pain and offered her the fried tofu instead. She assented to the substitution and