Finished Folds (561—580)
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2led him to an existence as a mole smack dab in the middle of the cleavage of Drew Carrey's man breasts. Luckily he was obscured by
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1blank gaze that gave the identity of the attacker away by the reflection in his dead-as-glass eyes. Meanwhile, Oprah read the new Dr. Oz book and rubbing herself with olive loaf
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3bad case of crabs," she said to no one in particular as she drank a 20 ounce cup of bitter, served piping hot. Although she burned the roof of her mouth and a little piece of skin
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1of the Justin Bieber tour bus. Unfortunately there were no fatalities. But there were
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6And too much HGTV ruined both his house and his marriage. His wife served him divorce papers by having them nail gunned to the big screen in his "man cave" in the former guest room
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1The room slowly filled with the damned ... If by "the damned," you mean those damned whiney pseudo-Goths born in the 1990s, who stare blankly at expensive glowing smart phones
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2to mash up a pitiful example of ginger is to do it this way. When all you have left is pulp, you
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2luck homeless men to vomit encrusted drunks on a weeklong bender. A tinge of crystal meth stained the air as
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0were used to lure unwary travelers, like the sirens of the Greek isles. Their glistening
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4All aliterates died that evening, including Fanny Flagg. They served fried green tomatoes at the wake. Most people opted out of their share since they were too
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0Sweat like a freshly shorn scrotum in the light of a full moon near a roaring on midwinter's night fire. The smells of Christmases past and the promise of future delights filled
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4Ball said "DEFINITELY NOT," so he chose a different tactic. He brushed off an idea he first used for his 4th grade science fair decades ago, to
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2Too bad he accidentally dropped it in the Port-A-Potty on the last day of the BeerFest. He had a tough decision: save the girl by fetching the keys or more beer before last call.
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1In half-gagging swallows. She really hated Peeps.
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1enough to shrivel up and die. But that would be too much to ask on Christmas Eve. So, she took to slapping kittens and puppies with cease and desist letters. The power
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1Or was that Spy vs. Spy? I can't remember my 1970s references. Anyway, the cork screw was lying there, mocking them.
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4whipping up a chocolate torte that would put Martha Stewart to shame. The secret was in the almonds, which both added a richness and hid the arsenic she used
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8his spine as he belted out a tune that would rival Aretha Franklin's finest. Pope Benedict loved singing in the shower, thinking about Jake Gyllenhaal's hairy chest as he soaped
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2terrified of clowns. This also applied to drag queens and the women of ABC's The View. Once, he
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4jerky strips to hang from the tree. He was hoping to attract bears. Why else would he move to Folsom Street? Luckily the bear bait