Finished Folds (601—620)
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2vagina, but not her heart. So she
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2remember to wear a condom and not make the same mistakes his
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2going to the adult book store, as was his routine of the past 40 years. He'd later use the bloody and plaque-caked string to truss up the
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1and my anus quivered in anticipation. Which reminded me: I needed to get that thing checked out next time I went to the
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2and tried to ignore her seeping ringworm lesions as I eyed a bottle of Purel on the shelf. I heard a voice in the other aisle; it was my long lost
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5mid-rent gigolo and all that, but he was my father first and foremost. He was always welcome at my house, even though I'd make him sit on a towel and ask him to refrain from using
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4to apply moisturizer even though the bottle clearly indicated that it was well past its expiration date. He'd slather it on even though it felt like fire ants were attacking his
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0that's the price you pay for fame. At least that's what Oprah said on the Barbara Walters special last night.
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1I took out that skank Princess Di and I can take out you, too. Get yo bitch ass off my palace lawn, punk.
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0memorial song on YouTube dedicated to him called, "It's So Cold in the D." Every time I hear it, tears well up in my eyes as I
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2my not-so-fresh feeling was the least of their worries on this exceptionally cold day in the woods. Nathan grabbed a Vienna sausage and
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2fragile. Hello? The too-hot car was melting the adhesive on my false eyelashes and they started drooping, making me look like a tarted-up Lindsay Lohan after a weekend bender. Dad
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3lightly breaded with a carmelized onion and white wine glaze. It was time to feed the men traitorous long pig - and they were going to like it or
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0stopped licking themselves in the living room every time we have company. That was the one good thing about this
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2while ignoring his religion's prohibition against shellfish. Little did he know
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0her Dad discovered the delights of a freshly shorn scrotum and made the entire family gather in the living room to marvel at his handiwork. That was the first time she ever dialed
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1that were favored by participants of the Special Olympics. She even had the pit stains bleached out of her favorite white body suit for the occasion. Her sole concern was
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3addiction to soap operas and inability to program a DVR, meaning he
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3like an Otter Pop, with red juices flowing down to my clutching hand that was fast losing its grip. She eyed it greedily in her cold, mechanical way.
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0At the back of my mind, I thought they were right - then again way back in the far reaches of my mind lies a dead hooker I once left in the trunk of a 1979 Buick Skylark on