Finished Folds (621—640)
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4wear deodorant and brush my teeth for the first time in 10 years. I think she noticed as I spent 3 hours in close proximity to her and she didn't make a gagging sound once, which I
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3Strangely, it made life easier for me as no one wants to have to "deal with" an ass. I went throughout most of my 20s with that label, a smirk on my face - sometimes voluntarily.
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0boring. Luckily I glanced at my fingernails, which were in need of a manicure. But something was wrong with my middle finger. It appeared to be
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6Luckily, its cord kept it bound to a 6-foot radius of the plug in the wall, which meant escape was possible. But that also meant
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3It's time for visions of sugar plums to be dancing in my head. Although, I'm not sure I like
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2she loved slathering herself with the stuff. She also loved the feeling of it evaporating off her thighs. So what if her life expectancy fell by a few months or years, she
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3harmonica and started doing Stevie Wonder impersonations. He all looked at her, appalled by her bad taste and lack of rhythm. Her enthusiasm was infectious, though as we
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4went with it and tried to own the situation. That's the advice her stylist always gave her - to own any situation she found herself involved in. But this foot-in-mouth thing was
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5my birthday and I want that free meal. Much to my chagrin, I was offered a senior's menu. That really steamed my
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0fresh peach cobbler at the Waffle House off Interstate 69. He loved peach cobbler more than
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4extreme fabulousity. He was told the only cure was hosting his own make-over show on Bravo. Two seasons on that channel could take the shine off Bristol Palin's blank gaze. So he
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4like an episode of 30 Rock. It drained you dry and left you feeling that it was not worth it and you shouldn't have started it to begin with. But still, he found himself with two
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2Sure, I'd seen happy days and sad days. But this was just the tip of the
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4right round - like a record, baby. It was hot *and* cool, and unfortunately very trendy. This made me
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1Later on, he said this is what turned him gay. I'm not buying it. I think what turned him gay was his love for ABBA, Steel Magnolias and hot men - in that order. His stint as a
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0was in mid "wax-on; wax-off" mode when
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1It turned out it was all a set up and I was caught by the pedo-police. The "young lady" was a decoy used to round up perverts. I *was* a pervert - just not a pedophile - much to
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3the most annoying song in the history of pop music. So, he was stoned to death and his remains ground into a fine pink powder that was used to add color to the skin of pygmy albino
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3toward a life of damnation as an unrepentant sodomite. On the positive side, the parties were great, he found live, and since he was an atheist, the only heaven he cared about was
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4as Baby Boomers would buy anything the media labeled as "cool." Damn lemmings - running the world off a cliff and dragging the rest of us with them. This is why