Finished Folds (821—840)
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2I was minding myself, surfing the Internet when I was distracted by a scratching sound in the other room. I got up to inspect the situation and was surprised to find
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4"Not really," he said wiping a trail of chlorophyll slime from his chin. "A vampire drains victims dry. I'm more of a cultivator; the excess plants provide me doesn't kill them."
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2He grew up in Reading, Ohio, the second of 12 children in a working-class Catholic family. His father ran a tavern where
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5took to the bottle a few weeks after the honeymoon was over and died later of cirrhosis. By then he was up to 2 litres of gin a day. At his cremation, his body burned for days.
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3quite get that hypnosis thing down and everyone kept giggling at him. His embarrassment led to more fumbling incantations and more frequent and louder giggles.
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5our first honeymoon night was over as we lay in bliss, our limbs entwined and floppy like we were Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls without the button eyes and hideous smiles. Suddenly,
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0rash finally cleared up without having to go to the free clinic. AWK-WARD!
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2pushed the wheelchair down a flight of steps. That should do the trick.
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3But, I was fresh out so I substituted basil and a pinch of salt, hoping that would do the trick. I left and took a shower as the entire house filled with the wonderful aroma of
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6went. The leg friction from the bumpy road and body sweat combined to intertwine her leg hairs with mine. When she finally got off my lap, there was an audible Velcro rip sound.
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2but what was I thinking? This was not Who Want's to be a Millionaire, this is real life - and there ain't no life lines, honey, especially since Anne didn't answer. So, I gathered
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3he had an attention span longer than a gnat. Sadly, Joey was an imbecile more concerned with the depths of his navel than the happenstances of a November day. Still, he had an
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3to suck out the marrow and leave the rest to rot in the sun. Poor Timmy didn't know what hit him.
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4beat around. I was going to re-invent country dance music. No one could stop me - especially not Simon Cowell - he's not even *on* American Idol anymore. So, I grabbed my
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4correct his grammar error. All girls keep a "list" of all their past lovers. He was one of the names I wished were not on mine. I shudder to even think about it now. So I
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5self hydrated while running on the treadmill. That's a good thing, according to the Internet, she says. She talks about things she learned from that Wikipedia site all the time.
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2my nakedness. That lime-green crap had dissolved all of my clothes and I after everything I'd been through I was not about to let mere nudity shake my resolve. So, I gathered up my
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4and looked at mom. It was just another day's work in the adult fetish porn business for them. As for me, I was trying to break the cycle. I went to law school to be able to move
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1stoned. But she was out for blood, preferably the blood of a virgin. Normally a man the age of Mike would not be worried - but Mike was as pure as they get in these parts. She
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3the largest squirrel that ever existed: Squirrelzilla. And he didn't see what I saw - that monster was headed right for him.