Finished Folds (501—520)
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7half a lunar cycle. Now at the changing of the seasons, the gentle flow of tomato was giving way to minestrone. It was the Soup Dragon's duty to clear the wells of pasta blockages
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4his pants, so she could plant a big cast iron time bomb to blow him up. The evil Olaf tasted the stew. "This is delicious! I hereby grant you magic access to my pants." She
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4No wait, I'd forgotten about the new Daylight Squandering Time: a half hour of day was added to each hour of night. And the water contained food thickener. But were the specters
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2-ckening bouquet bubbling from the bloody body. My lungs burned like a billion red hot needles poking my alveoli! The agony! I LIKED the agony! I shoved my face into the mutilated
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6But his punches had the impact of a marshmallow being tossed in one's face, or at best a bunny being gently pressed against one's face. The mildly irked villains shot him dead.
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3than a guy abusing his wife with a sausage." Then Judy shot Punch. She was arrested, tried, convicted of murder and hung until dead. The end. Rich was appalled. Brian was laughing
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7then he became Giant Squid Man, rebelled against his crime fighting mentor and dragged sailing ships down into the briny deep for years until he became Giant Middle Aged Squid Man.
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1A coalition of vegetation deities arrived. "Is this sacrifice for us?" asked Attis. "Sure, why not," chorused the druids. As the deities devoured Agnes Faulk's smoking dingo, she
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7Sam the trunk murderer was asleep on the sofa one morning when his mom came downstairs. "Sam! Clean up this mess!" "Aw, but mom, it's ONLY A TORSO!" Mom was furious. "I'm sick of
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5But their dreams were crushed by a pair of runaway steam rollers which squashed all their limbs as they lay spread eagled in the street. Now only torsos, they gave up on dancing.
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9the towels. Private thoughts close the curtains, turn the A/C on max all night, pull off all the bedding to make a nest and make ramen noodles in the coffee maker. The Mind Hotel
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5dig it, man? It's almost like we are all sentient apes encased in fabrics sewn together to fit our bodies to prevent our surfaces from being exposed. Cotton fibers, all intertwined
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6They entered cautiously. "Sit! Sit! I'll bring out some chocolate cake & orange juice." I ran into the kitchen, removed the wig & dress and put on the cat costume. I strolled back
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5Baboon Brigade, Tactical Practical Joke Battalion. The pasty skinned Krutati were paper-mâché, their soaring crystal cities merely cardboard. This wasn't the first time the Baboons
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6God costume which consisted of a 10 kilowatt searchlight, a fog machine and a hot plate heating dog excrement. "Hello, La Ronda," boomed Big Bob through his 500 watt sub-octavizer.
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7than an inert block of cement. The orbs gathered despondently beneath the sofa. Now free of his annoying hopes, dreams and other mental creations, he felt unable to plan & execute
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4which encouraged kids to offer him partially eaten ice cream cones and giant lollipops. He accepted these courteously, which the kids regretted. Now that he was tarred & feathered
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4The asp said, "you pick the door?" "Yes," said Adam. "Hand me the apple, then." Adam tried to hand him the apple but the asp had no hands, being ONLY A TORSO with a head.
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6lasted 7 hrs until police were finally able to disengage the pair after lubricating them with cooking oil. As he approached his true love he slipped, grabbed her dress to break his
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5be it now: Coated in old motor oil, the newborn titanium whale plopped unceremoniously onto a smoky mountain of coal. She surveyed her horrific new world then flopped along grazing