Finished Folds (521—540)
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5The cat watched the feather fall to the floor, then he shoved his head into the Old Man's armpit and inhaled. "Hey no, you dern cat, get the Parrot!" The cat shoved harder, purring
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5I stacked 500 pennies onto her hand, then 2 slices of bread. "That's a baloney sandwich if I ever saw one." Aunt Valetta handed me a crystal phial. I drank the tonic and instantly
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6and that one dead man, but that's another story. The book, with its hilarious old book smell and comically faded green cloth cover, was making me snort as I ran through the library
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4-he piece with relish. "Damn fine," said the Colonel, "now if you'll just finish off the rest of these wormy apples, I'll proceed with Private Witless's court-martial." She didn't
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4He screamed. The other fat tourists surrounded and attacked her. She struggled, broke free and ran. The tourists lethargically pursued. Being a single zombie wasn't working. She
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6-lus of mangy bulldogs chained up in the junkyard surrounding his run-down trailer home. Bull-baiting worked wonders for his mood, but he could not stop moaning no matter how hard
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5He found this activity pleasing, making a thing that was not the other thing, so he made another thing, and another... Soon God was surrounded by things with various qualities.
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6kettle of boiling gin into my hot gin bubble bath. "Indeed I am," I replied "I feel that having one's soul divided in two is necessary for true enlightenment. Like those effeminate
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8gave up on un-life and switched to booze. He preferred quiet, smoky dive bars with sleepy bartenders to whom he could babble about sucking blood and other boring topics. Dracula
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3Helicopter Mummy's dual rotors counter-rotated as she hovered busily about little Aubrey, spreading the scent of myrrh and bitumen. "Don't you want to get into Harvard!?" "Mum, I'm
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7discovering he was ONLY A TORSO! Det. Manatee nearly collapsed in shock, but quickly recovered and set to work forming a head & limbs from the rectangular block that was Spam Baby.
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10at all-you-can-carry for a vow of eternal servitude. As a bonus most of it is written in crayon in a language I invented. ACT NOW) But I think most people who quit FS do so because
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7The Skee-Ball game was made of multicolored neon tubes. The hole was as black as the space between galaxies and emitted a sustained note like a choir of basso profundi. I looked
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5"I've never seen a woman as beautiful as you would be if it weren't for your eyebrows," said the hook-handed man as he stroked Ms. Mabel Syrup's cheek with his hook. Mr. Pancakes
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3had to think. I could squeeze into the horrible hole if I really tried, & then, with my stick as a weapon, do battle with that one eyed thing to win back my keys. I'd be covered in
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5As soon as they met for their date, she whipped out the contract & he unhesitatingly signed in blood. "My uncle calls you a hell-spawn trollop." She grinned roguishly. "Astute man,
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3that we are suffering extremes of emotional anguish by our inability to smell him. We wail & tear our hair & gnash our teeth and mistreat our noses with slaps and pinches. My uncle
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4Unexpected Anal Fortitude Examination, was initiated by Google with partial funding from Facebook. The project was simple: elderly men under 5' 4" in self-driving cars would
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6into its cage armed only with one of those big foam rubber hands with a raised index finger. Jen stroked the diseased bear's chin with the finger, cooing "Don't You Want Me Baby."
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7an artificial jungle in the basement with a scaled down Angkor Wat replica; a log flume ride in the hallway and a garbage disposal large enough to handle small children. I moved in