Finished Folds (281—300)
-
5was instantly stopped by a mariachi trio sporting green and red sarapes with a large “5” embroidered in white at the front. “Senor Herman Boyd, you can’t die alone!” They sang.
-
8ped the leg of a Chinese sailor named Fun who knew me as the AWOL fruit (the nuts were rounded up not far from the trash); Fun took me back to the mess hall before chowtime ended.
-
6Where are you, gurl? Come on, shake a tail feather. You mermaids all were blessed with beautiful heads and heart-shaped tail feathers. Now, get out there and shake yours, Shelley!"
-
3,basically, crashed through the show window, breaking the metatarsal bones in my left foot, and terribly damaging my right foot prosthesis.” “What about the cat?” I wanted to know.
-
5…a year ago, if you had asked, I would’ve called you a blockhead, but, today, I’d call you a genius. “Hey, Genius, you’ve got your shirt on inside out!” I told you I was important.
-
8Silence of the Lambs reunion.” The caterer didn’t yield; he punted the severed head from the headhunter’s machete, crying, “Wait until you taste it smothered in caramelized onions
-
6it became clear that I knew zilch about ghosts, especially seafaring ghosts, sponge coral ghosts that quickly sucked up all the water, leaving Kevin the hamster hung out to dry.
-
7at the maître d, Sigurd Mostrom—could there be anything more nauseating than the melding of stink-like-ass Lutefisk and stink-like-vomit Egg Foo Yung at one hundred bucks a plate?”
-
3“Ah, screw it!” I roared, raising the coffee tabletop to reveal a dozen or more sticks of dynamite; resuming over my friend’s gasp, “You won’t see this power dynamic on YouTube!"
-
3But the best laid plans of mice and men… The He-Queen played dead in the bath, stabbed; the She-Queen undressed, slid down into the tub, saying, “When you’re done playing, wash my
-
2Dottie made every effort to impress; she lured her red wig out of mothballs—judging by the size of its balls, that was some big moth; she had a sponge bath and soaked her dentures.
-
2It was then I first saw Vanilla town in all its wonder. As we waltzed as one through Vanilla Park, meeting Vanilla Residents along the way, we took them home to make Vanilla Love.
-
4And at once, it ate and vomited itself until it was nothing more than a shaggy bill atop a pile of chicken feces. “Try to beat that, Bobby Flay!” Francois cried above the applause.
-
4thick, musclebound cabana boys unless they had a master’s degree in Jack of All Trades: Fence builder, carpenter, plumber, gardener, master chef, chauffeur, masseur, and lover.
-
6After you read the Good Book, everything else is bad. And I have graduated from the School of Hard Knocks, but there ain’t nothing do prepare you better for life than the Good Book
-
3Or, at least, that’s the way I would explain it; it could have been anything: the fermented entrails of a rat, ejaculate from a worm orgy, but I preferred calling it sticky gunk.
-
15My name is Mudd, with two Ds, the second D is silent; in theory, if only one of them is silent and the other one isn’t, it doesn’t matter which of the Ds is silent and which isn’t.
-
11I did a monstrous number of respectable things for a lot of bad people—or maybe I did a substantial number of terrible things for a lot of good people. I hate people. I love me.
-
3; and he did, and that was his demise. The male of the genera didn’t perspire or cry; those who did were outsiders and were either sent off to concentration camps or put to death.
-
4can’t spend eternity as a phantom; I won’t! Some see-through troll twirling about, flinging spine chills down the backs of young people for a lark. Or could I? Yes… I think I will.