Finished Folds (7961—7980)
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2she zoomed towards the crimson moon. The hellfire rained down from the other witches. She wept. Yes the violence was beautiful but it had no purpose. Then the Moon Angel spoke and
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0Octogenarians mounted their Power Chairs heading straight for the local malls. They wanted to eat brains blended with Ensure.
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2Sam's club automated system answered the phone. He waited through the list of departments and then dialed "666." The Voice came on. "Yes, my child, what have you brought me?" He
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1stop lying to herself. Ice Cream Bras? She was no inventor. What about the "tires with folding knives?" Or the "Television Lawn Chair."
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3face the facts: Gregor is dead. So we are charged with destroying Kenya. but we don't have an army. To raise an army we need money but we have no money. However, AmWay will
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0he lost only fed the demon more. It'd gotten so bad that he would get his grandmother drunk then steal money from her purse. If he'd won he'd pay her back, but he never won, he
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2on the past and burning bridges was his specialty. The awful truth was that he wanted fame just as badly as a real housewife from Beverly Hills but he was a sicko and needed
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2went back to Senor Frogs and the smell of idiot college kids, puke and beer made me sick on on plate of nachos. The table kept eating and saying how they love "authentic" nachos
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1Then the flesh on his family's faces writhed and exploded. They were monsters who wore his dead family's skin as camo, they scaly and green, legions of spikes stuck out across
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1d yourself on Southwest Airlines. It was like being the white ball in a skanky roulette wheel operated by bush-league middle managers in North Vegas. So Bert started drinking and
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2-marketing website E Harmony added the "Menage a Trois" tab. Business boomed. The conservative investors made money hand over fist. They spent it on family values campaigns
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3try to get laid and forget about the oil problem. His name was George Bush JR. All he wanted to do was chew copenhagen and chase tail. The only problem was that he'd been kicked in
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0Horseshack was inspired by the booger. You know, dark and hairy. It turned out to be a hit and with the money I bought the most expensive camel in the world. I took the camel to
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0At least that's what Christina Aguilera said to Tony Robbins. She had talent, they were just jobbers with cheap mascara, she could actually sing. Tony Tobbins nodded and then
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6led a bottle of scotch right there. Just downed it and screamed, "Ta Daaaa!" right in my boss's face. She said, "You dumb son of a bitch. In thirty seconds you'll be drunk and you
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0went out in the bar because Kenny was hanging all over a chick that was really a dude. Clark went up to tell him, but Kenny was so s-faced he though Clark was trying to steal her
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3because his face smashed right into my head. Luckily my consciousness had been recorded on an answering machine. Unluckily it was erased by college freshmen who wanted to
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0The witches were on strike.
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1balls. Hard plastic balls in primary colors. They're coated with exotic bacterias. And you're in a cage. And evil people point and laugh at you. Parents. This is Chuck E. Cheese
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0breaking up with her because she drove a SAAB. I did it over my Blackberry and she wiped her tears with Kleenex. I could hear the wadded up snot over my Bluetooth. Oh well, life's