Finished Folds (8281—8300)
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5like a puss encrusted boil. The ruckus would become a cage match. She wanted to eat at the table. A family dinner. He wanted to eat on the couch. Monday night football. They used
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1Mormons as far as the eye could see. Husbands and multiple wives chortled like drunk boaters. Then I saw a glow in the alley. There was the Angel Moroni, it was crying, it said
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4were producers of infomercials. They smelled of peppermint and axle grease. They had a new product this time. A product that would win the hearts of
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4that Putin was a "nice" guy and wasn't looking for trouble. All Russia wanted was half of Paris. The Polish envoy then said he was from Poland. The Russian grunted and dropped
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6I dug my fingers into his sockets and pulled them apart for him. "Ah there you go," I said as his eyeballs plopped out and dangled by the optic nerve. These things are so fragile
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2of the corn will rise again and extend their extermination of adults into neighboring towns. I am the Jane Goodall of these children. I don't want to stop them, I want to study
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3or some such crap. Whenever my mother was angry with father she would recite recipes. Once when she found him in bed with a whore she recited how to make a turducken. She needed
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2and a beer. Why choose when I can have both. Thank god I was marrying an alcoholic. She wouldn't look down her nose at me when I demolished a case of Bud all by myself. Now
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2would be lame like all the other ones. What he really wanted was a fight. He wanted to tell the "overworked" housewives of the world to stop pretending to be busy.
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1It was Absolute Berry Acai and that enraged the ant-eater. He hated alcoholism and anti-oxidants. He went berserk. He jumped on the counter. His paw went into
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1knees were the product of having to constantly look under the couch for lost legos. For infinite the children would drop legos, and they would have to pick them up. When Zeus heard
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2Grandma was mad as hell and wasn't going to take it anymore. All the lurid stares, all the arrogant "ahems." She had been writing checks in the grocery store since before any
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3turd that had fallen out of his mouth. She wrenched upward. The meat hook caught him in the groin. She attached that to her horse's halter. She pulled out a carrot peeler and ran
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2comparing that to the variations in baking at different altitudes back home. Some Bureaucratic Emir in the tri-fold system's document tracking cordon had thought of it. Perhaps
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3company time. He worked for UPS, he smirked when he said, "What can brown do for you?" That's what he said before he took a lead pipe to brittle knees of an elderly woman who
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1to be commenced by an birthmarked Alton Brown who had shamelessly shunted his show to be the spooky spokesperson for an Impish Iron Chef set in an arid arena in
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1and loaded the kiosks with plastic explosives. I rigged the pewter dragons to ignite the mass of mayhem. There is no scent better than barbecuing zombie flesh. It has a sweet
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2body surfing on a bed of nails. But the coppery sting of blood and puss made him feel alive. That an microwaving small mammals. That's what breeding the weasels was for, so
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3The man on the cellphone talked loudly. He was like a klaxon with a bad script. He was white but yucked it up like House of Payne. The people around him were trying to enjoy
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2The family was gathered around the table, like past Christmases. The table was set with Waterford crystal. Mother brought out the roasting pan. When she lifted the lid, a severed