Finished Folds (8281—8300)
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0And that's when it happened. Bruce Lee's ghost materialized. Jackie Chan shivered. Bruce Lee slapped his face and said, "Total concentration!?!" Jackie threw his drink and
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3He howled. He flung the grenades. Heaved up to AK's under each arm. They bucked his arms like dogs fighting. He ran right into the halos of smoke, blood and gristle. He kicked
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4They had battled for control of the trailer park. Residents fled to Texas to escape bloodshed. He was tired. He sent a peace overture in the form of a fermented pork sandwich. This
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4Jaimie cleaned his mustache. His reflection said FRAUD. Big fraud. He and Adam were world-famous, but no one knew. No one knew they were lovers. The audience was so homophobic
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2He let the man talk himself silly. He hid his smirk with a knowing nod. He pulled out an application and handed it to him. Then he said, "Look, applications are good, but what
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3Finally Anthony Bourdain was able to ditch the film crew. Sweat poured like melted candle wax. He needed to score, like yesterday. Thank god this was Bangkok. An old woman shouted
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2to get a shovel and move our dirt piles." He smiled. She saw his teeth. They sharp, like a snakes. Translucent gel dripped across them. A toxic spray shot from his throat
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4The Radio Shack clerk pushed her away. "Can I help you?!?!?" He had a snakeskin tie, a toothpick in his mouth and cowhide loafers. "You know the rules," he snarled, "You ain't
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2-" Her sentence was cut in half because his languid phallus was hanging out. The tip was on her desk. Her desk calendar, right on EASTER! It was multicolored like an Easter
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0This was Bush Jr.'s first A.A. meeting since that shitstorm called "The Presidency." He would raise his hand and say, "I'm Dick Cheney and I am an alcoholic." The bald VP was
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2And my car launched off the mountain pass like projectile vomit. This was the fifth time thinking about sex while driving killed me. But then again, I'll just find another body
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3Because I was a deaf mute serial killer in a wheelchair. I had killed 1,316 living things. 80% were random pets, including a mule. But I have killed a lot of people. No one thinks
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2A test of his worthiness to work at Crumbs. He had come a long way. Slinging rootbeer floats at A&W. Casting off apple fritters at Dunkin'. A month at See's. This was the big show
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5they will kick me out of Toastmasters. I was the worse phrase coiner since Nancy Reagan. For instance, I was the one who coined, "That's a nifty one for a thrifty one." It never
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5like a puss encrusted boil. The ruckus would become a cage match. She wanted to eat at the table. A family dinner. He wanted to eat on the couch. Monday night football. They used
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1Mormons as far as the eye could see. Husbands and multiple wives chortled like drunk boaters. Then I saw a glow in the alley. There was the Angel Moroni, it was crying, it said
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4were producers of infomercials. They smelled of peppermint and axle grease. They had a new product this time. A product that would win the hearts of
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4that Putin was a "nice" guy and wasn't looking for trouble. All Russia wanted was half of Paris. The Polish envoy then said he was from Poland. The Russian grunted and dropped
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6I dug my fingers into his sockets and pulled them apart for him. "Ah there you go," I said as his eyeballs plopped out and dangled by the optic nerve. These things are so fragile
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2of the corn will rise again and extend their extermination of adults into neighboring towns. I am the Jane Goodall of these children. I don't want to stop them, I want to study