Finished Folds (8401—8420)
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1pit bull and shouting, "That's a good dog. Oh yes he is. He's a good boy. Oh yes he is." They busted the centipede in their half shirts and all the dog could do was
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3That the angel Moroni was living in Fred's urethra. He was the messiah. Unfortunately this revelation came to him at the Flying J between Phoenix and San Diego. He ran to the
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2marinade of Jones soda and soy nuts. But that was because I was utterly pretentious. I considered myself to be the William Shatner of serial killers. Oh yes, I had dined
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2Ivory Coast which was full of these swallow weiners. They were like swallows, only longer and skinnier. So I took out my blow gun and aimed it at the captain, he raised his fist
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3Bristol Palin. She was bloated, connected and wore pancake make up. It was like someone smeared silly putty across her face and then stung her with bees. Her mom got on the
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1groused about how cheap coffee was when they were young. They kept this up until Santa's lash caught one of them in the lip. The reindeer cowered and begged for forgiveness but
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4sauer kraut ice skates. We had both joined the ice show at Six Flags. Backstage was the pits. All of us were losers. Even circus clowns looked down upon us. But my food skates were
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3That what the banal economist told me as we hiked further into Mordoff's mountain. I heaved my dwarf axe at his briefcase. Papers flew down the tunnel and landed on the scaly claw
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2pink eye. My left eye was red and rashy. It looked like a boiled whole radish. So wired I thought. How can a glass eye get Pink Eye? How could it be that
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4that didn't contain a mustachioed portrait of himself. There was the fancy, curly, waxy one. The Steve Harvey push broom. There was even the Hitler, but he never
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2like a white woman from Connecticut. But some did not consider Ross Perot a jolly old elf. But he was, so long as he had eggnog and a case of Whippits. Then he was laughing
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0But intermittent complete winking which requires the lid to pop open again. This wasn't going to work. I attached his eye lid to his car's windshield wipers. Winking time is here
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2my prescription on the counter and asked me to sign for it. The free blood pressure machine was empty and asking for it. I high-fived a woman looking at wart removers
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1had become charming and quaint. Redd Foxx's hall of memories was a stop on the Denny's Sensitivity Tour. His honorary museum to Goethe was extremely
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2in her vows. She started to see that her matrimonial promises were riddled with Swiss cheese. It was a marriage in name but actually only friends with benefits. This pleased her
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2Then Mick Jagger started flossing. He was using nautical ropes to attack the legions of plaque migrating across the great plains of his gums. He always flossed before
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4He found this pervert in a chatroom by posing as a 12 year old boy. The guy didn't know he was a cop. But on his way to make the arrest, he looked in the mirror, "Holy shit I am
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1He should have masturbated while she was out today. He could of found some internet "strange." But she might want to actually do it later, and now it was late and there would be
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2The fat waitress at the Hot Wing joint had a nose ring and a low cut top. Pure class. She was going to be a makeup artist. That's when the leader of the Yakuza walked in and
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4The squirrel had been hatching his plan for weeks. He had eaten his last pinecone on Tuesday. He was now strictly a carnivore. And why not? The apartment complex was full of meat.