Finished Folds (8421—8440)
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2pink eye. My left eye was red and rashy. It looked like a boiled whole radish. So wired I thought. How can a glass eye get Pink Eye? How could it be that
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4that didn't contain a mustachioed portrait of himself. There was the fancy, curly, waxy one. The Steve Harvey push broom. There was even the Hitler, but he never
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2like a white woman from Connecticut. But some did not consider Ross Perot a jolly old elf. But he was, so long as he had eggnog and a case of Whippits. Then he was laughing
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0But intermittent complete winking which requires the lid to pop open again. This wasn't going to work. I attached his eye lid to his car's windshield wipers. Winking time is here
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2my prescription on the counter and asked me to sign for it. The free blood pressure machine was empty and asking for it. I high-fived a woman looking at wart removers
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1had become charming and quaint. Redd Foxx's hall of memories was a stop on the Denny's Sensitivity Tour. His honorary museum to Goethe was extremely
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2in her vows. She started to see that her matrimonial promises were riddled with Swiss cheese. It was a marriage in name but actually only friends with benefits. This pleased her
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2Then Mick Jagger started flossing. He was using nautical ropes to attack the legions of plaque migrating across the great plains of his gums. He always flossed before
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4He found this pervert in a chatroom by posing as a 12 year old boy. The guy didn't know he was a cop. But on his way to make the arrest, he looked in the mirror, "Holy shit I am
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1He should have masturbated while she was out today. He could of found some internet "strange." But she might want to actually do it later, and now it was late and there would be
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2The fat waitress at the Hot Wing joint had a nose ring and a low cut top. Pure class. She was going to be a makeup artist. That's when the leader of the Yakuza walked in and
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4The squirrel had been hatching his plan for weeks. He had eaten his last pinecone on Tuesday. He was now strictly a carnivore. And why not? The apartment complex was full of meat.
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3He had been polite in this "romantic" relationship long enough. The brainless courtesies, the phony listening. The repeating. He had made a special dinner so that he could
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1played out recipe since Duck L'Orange. But it had only taken him three days to come up with Pineapple Upside Down Green Bean Casserole. He had to cheat to win, but
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3flew open and I pissed myself. All the way to Denny's my shoes made that wet sneaker squeak. I had to keep going, I had a date. I'm really an IHOP guy but damn, it's
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3signal my lead Beef Eater to behead this fool. I'm Queen Elizabeth beyotch. You don't come at me. You don't know me. This is Buckingham Palace, this is my house, oh no
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0headstone at the memorial. There's a cup for flowers but instead people fill it up with King Cobra and Pork Cracklin's. It's the right way to honor him but now there's this
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4to go paint balling with her and Nathan anymore. They were weekend warriors who were also nudists. It wasn't too crazy except they both were exceptionally not well-endowed, so
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5I clawed for the button to roll down the window like a rat on a sinking ship. Locked. Dad had locked the windows. Now he turned the heat on full blast. What had he eaten? I'm
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3But I wasn't his daughter anymore, I was his commanding officer. Ever since he got drunk with a sheep herder named Ali in Baghdad, the army couldn't trust him. No, I ordered him