Finished Folds (8421—8440)
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3He had been polite in this "romantic" relationship long enough. The brainless courtesies, the phony listening. The repeating. He had made a special dinner so that he could
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1played out recipe since Duck L'Orange. But it had only taken him three days to come up with Pineapple Upside Down Green Bean Casserole. He had to cheat to win, but
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3flew open and I pissed myself. All the way to Denny's my shoes made that wet sneaker squeak. I had to keep going, I had a date. I'm really an IHOP guy but damn, it's
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3signal my lead Beef Eater to behead this fool. I'm Queen Elizabeth beyotch. You don't come at me. You don't know me. This is Buckingham Palace, this is my house, oh no
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0headstone at the memorial. There's a cup for flowers but instead people fill it up with King Cobra and Pork Cracklin's. It's the right way to honor him but now there's this
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4to go paint balling with her and Nathan anymore. They were weekend warriors who were also nudists. It wasn't too crazy except they both were exceptionally not well-endowed, so
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5I clawed for the button to roll down the window like a rat on a sinking ship. Locked. Dad had locked the windows. Now he turned the heat on full blast. What had he eaten? I'm
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3But I wasn't his daughter anymore, I was his commanding officer. Ever since he got drunk with a sheep herder named Ali in Baghdad, the army couldn't trust him. No, I ordered him
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3"Everyone sucks. The world sucks. Buying stupid crap sucks, after a while. The majority of the crayons in the box suck," then he stopped. His son was only four and looked upset
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1His cousin had chimpanzee-laughed right in his face. Well that wasn't going to stop him from inventing a perpetual motion machine. People had laughed at Einstein when he
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1It was her worst nightmare. She was the first woman president in US history. She was also a germaphobe. The campaign had almost killed her, now 4 years of this? She called
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0She sat in her car. Red light. No one was watching. She hooked her finger into her nose and smiled at her topnotch nose swag. It was one of those have gooey with a crusty shell
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4The drug cartel has shot up like a weed. Grown beyond his wildest dreams. They were now the government of Mexico, calling the shots. He finally could make
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1They wanted to chant the ten little Indians again. This time he started chanting, "Ten Little White People." The crowed was stunned into silence. All eyes upon him. How could
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1All that fills my eyes is white light. Snow and sun. The dogs know where we're going but my body no longer has a sense of direction. The shadowless world makes me feel like
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3"Wrong!" he shouted with triumph that bordered on eroticism. "You are so bloody wrong that it is putrid and pathetic. You are so wrong you will never be right again." With that he
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1I started drinking the sea water the moment the boat left San Pedro. I had swallowed a jelly fish and prayed it would kill me, but I am still here. Damn it. If only
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1The football team had lost another one. 0 and 11. Everyone hung their helmeted heads and got on the bus. Lumpy the couch just shook his head. The fat kid in the back yelled
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4were accidentally funny. Russel Simmons was at the next table at Hooters playing "She's Lump" with his knife and glass to annoy his wife, when he saw them. He cough laughed so hard
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1was his estate. He and inherited Anson Williams through a typo in the testamentary document that was left by lesbian nun who moonlighted as a printer for Legal Zoom. So he