Finished Folds (8381—8400)
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4Of course that was only in the cartoons. Usually it ended with a poof of a dust cloud at the bottom of a generic canyon. But he was willing to try anything. He put a quarter into
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1mate "Lonnie." They had just broken out of prison and holed up at Theresa's house. The magically ringing phone was adding to their paranoia. Was this a trick of the cops? They
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2who wrote the book love. He screamed, "Tell me, tell me, tell me who!?!" The demons dragged him to Barnes and Noble. The pushed his face into the Sex & Relationships section. Books
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0but if he quit after a year he could keep only the left shoe. Sketchers was a tough company to work for, but he wanted shape-ups so bad. He needed buns of steel in order to
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5Damn the witch doctor which had magically transformed him into a mole. He tickets to see the miami heat tonight, but his was stuck in a dank tunnel just below the gold course. What
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4the day I agreed to Marry Dan Quayle I was out of my mind. I was under the strain of a torrential PMS hormone stampede, a gallon of Nyquil and Decaslim. I slogged through that
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0He saw the paper toilet seat covers. He pulled out his baggy. Inside was a powdered eczema flakes, scabs, blister husks and dried puss. He blended them in the coffee grinder. Then
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2He loosened the screws on the front tire until the nuts almost fell off. That's when Frankie came out. He jumped on the bike. He said, "Frankie, pop a wheely!" Frankie rode hard
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1She opened the coffee make. "Uh, Delilah? Where are your coffee inserts." Delilah cocked her head, "What, you mean filters?" She said, "What's a filter?" The blank stare on her
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2He had bed-head, tight jeans, a McGriddle gut, and an iphone. He ordered a Venti Mocha Latte and paid with a "gift card." His belt had studs in it. A knotted handkerchief clung to
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3Brad finally had to tell his father the truth. But did he have the strength? Could he tell his head-bobbing, "thinking man's music" father that Steely Dan sucked the high hairy
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1"Despite the International acknowledgment that Carnies are the zenith of human lives turning out to be a colossal flop," he paused, "Carnies think they are on top of the world."
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1The guitar was used to communicate with the other spy. The location of debriefing was the Guitar Center. He would come in and noodle "Hotel California," while the "cashier" trans
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5week before her wedding. She needed to gain another 50 pounds. She had to be fat enough for the photos. She had Manteca enemas, Gnochi in an IV drip and was devouring Peeps
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2All he wanted was a drink of goddamn water. He had eaten 8 pounds of extremely salty jerky and mistakenly bobbed for apples in a salt water tank. He sprinted at the Sparklets
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1He dialed in the coordinates. This hydrogen cloud would destroy the hull of the NT-4140. It was a pleasure craft, used to tour the rings of Saturn. But the coordinates switched to
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3She had taken her son to Disneyland. The photos were developed. She couldn't take her eyes off the one with her son and Princess Jasmine. There was something...oh wait, what
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2Hank farted in his car and waited for the foulness to rise past his balls, filter through the skid-marked underwear and into his nose. Crap! It was a stinker. What will Dr.
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3Her parents worked from dawn until dusk. Her mother went to mass everyday. All the money they had thrown at her could not change the simple fact: she was a monster that could
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9Hi, I'm fat and addicted to oxycotin. Strange because most drug people are thin. Not me, no amount of self-abuse stops my addiction. Actually, I'm getting hungry just thinking