Finished Folds (8381—8400)
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5week before her wedding. She needed to gain another 50 pounds. She had to be fat enough for the photos. She had Manteca enemas, Gnochi in an IV drip and was devouring Peeps
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2All he wanted was a drink of goddamn water. He had eaten 8 pounds of extremely salty jerky and mistakenly bobbed for apples in a salt water tank. He sprinted at the Sparklets
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1He dialed in the coordinates. This hydrogen cloud would destroy the hull of the NT-4140. It was a pleasure craft, used to tour the rings of Saturn. But the coordinates switched to
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3She had taken her son to Disneyland. The photos were developed. She couldn't take her eyes off the one with her son and Princess Jasmine. There was something...oh wait, what
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2Hank farted in his car and waited for the foulness to rise past his balls, filter through the skid-marked underwear and into his nose. Crap! It was a stinker. What will Dr.
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3Her parents worked from dawn until dusk. Her mother went to mass everyday. All the money they had thrown at her could not change the simple fact: she was a monster that could
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9Hi, I'm fat and addicted to oxycotin. Strange because most drug people are thin. Not me, no amount of self-abuse stops my addiction. Actually, I'm getting hungry just thinking
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3Herman was nice. He wore scarves and black-framed glasses. He wasn't gay but he wasn't straight either. The concept of sex seemed boring to him. What he really liked was
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5Everyone said, "No!" but he marched into the recording studio. Production came to a halt. That bastard took off his headphones and said, "What's up?" Then Ted Nugent raised a bow
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5They had been living in IKEA for 6 mos. now. They ate .99 cent Swedish meatballs everyday and lounged in the model front rooms. When they got sick of a decor, they just walked to
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1All she ever wanted was to be loved. But people weren't capable of it. They envied her too much. She was too smart, too stylish, too beautiful and as a result, jealousy was all
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0which was strange because he didn't know the dog had cancer, or toe nails. They were pulled out peremptorily to avoid the cancer. But he could sense the cancer, like a spidey-sense
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2fun instead of corny. But our parents watched America's Funniest Home Videos and Wheel Of Fortune. Those bone-chilling shows drained us of any comedy and now we must
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2He considered himself lazy and spiritual. This is why he was a huge follower of "The Secret." All he had to do was think about stuff and it would happen. His favorite place to
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6So he broke down and bought the nook. When he turned it on their was a message. It was strange because the message from a dead person named Ralphie. The message
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5He opened the book and saw his dad. The pipe. The estranged Senator's wife and of course, the maple scone. What he couldn't believe were the photos. How could
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2just big enough to fit on the roof of his dog house. Snoopy, the flying ace, was prepared to grease some aliens. The one thing he couldn't get over was how Charlie Brown had folded
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4I kill anything with the word "snuggle" in it. Cute makes me sick. I drove a railroad spike through that sugar coated teddy bear that sells those dryer sheets. When I was 11 I
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1at least that's what we West Hollywood cheerleaders like to shout from the man pyramids. I am saucy and no I have not had my V8. When I got my Captain Morgan's on I am ready
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1But that's because I actually mean all the sick, co-dependent narcissistic trash that pours out of my mouth. Rupaul needs to stay out of my space, but he can never leave. Hotel