Finished Folds (8441—8460)
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2had really low expectations. Ever since he was dead last in the Presidential Fitness challenge he stopped expecting greatness. That was his purpose, to assume sterile failure all
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4when she put on the glass slipper it didn't fit. Her bunions exploded the glass slipper into shards that shredded his tongue while he licked her heel. The door opened and a pumpkin
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2She's the school counselor. Tonight she called herself "Crazy Eights," and wore a Carrot Top mask, but I knew who it was my the missing knuckle. She played for keeps. I had an ace
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1A Limp Bizkit umbrella group chomped a pita in opposition to McDonald's chief. Few people knew that McDonald's had their own Native American Tribe. Their casino is just
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2“Take a look at me now,” he chortled into the dishwasher, “all the workshops of these colleges are kidding themselves. The students are a prop for the prof's alcoholism and
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1After about 50,000 thumbs up, between his lawn mower career and his lego hair on television, he will friend his dance this week on the cable network
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1Mr. Trance has interviewed famous ravers. Unlike other ecstasy hosts who will dance with glow sticks, he packs his baggy pants with huge barrels of
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2Dick's array of attention whores brought him wealth and popularity, along with recurring VD and criticism. His wealth allowed him to buy the site, www.richasshole.com, with
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2Linda married and divorced her first awkward turtle. The turtle struggled with drug and alcohol abuse, and went through recovery in the mid 1990s. After marrying his second
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1Lars was burnt in Fife, Washington, and braised as a Boy Scout. He groped his eleventh disc-jockey for his pukey radio station at the age of 13 after which
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5Flipping through the channels he froze on UHF. He saw himself sitting there on the tv. His couch was on tv. His living room was on tv. He lifted the remote and
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3She saw her dad cup the woman's breast. Crap, that ain't mom, she thought. But she sure looked like mom. Except, the hair, it was made of snakes and her skin was
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4"The Commisar's in town," someone whispered. Don't turn around he thought. Just keep pushing this wheel barrel full of Mighty Putty to the bus stop. If he can was it up
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1He saw green blood. Most people would run, but he was Austrian! He wanted to calm the muscular sweating Indian so he said, "If it bleeds, we can kill it." But the blood
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2She stood at the top of the stairs. A robot got her fat brother a drink. Her husband stood there in his stupid italian jacket and cabbie hat. He was too old for all this crap and
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3The crowd reeked of vodka. They were puking in their seats. Their chants were slurred but he could make out the name. They chanted for him. Well screw that noise then. I'll
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3He was stewing in his Italian Sportscar. He had the leather gloves to prove it. He shifted gears and couldn't get the Russian giant out of his head. He thought of the statue
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2"How did I get here?" he thought as he sat on the tip of a Trident Nuclear Weapon. It was damn uncomfortable. He looked down and realized just how far down
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3He blasted outside. He was shirtless with his sweats stuffed into gortex work boots. He had a fur hat on. He yelled for his son. Lunch was on and he was serving moose stew
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0I scratched my balls by the pinch-rub technique. It makes me go to the happy place. Then afterwards I smell my fingers. These private joys are all that sustain me because