Finished Folds (8441—8460)
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3"Everyone sucks. The world sucks. Buying stupid crap sucks, after a while. The majority of the crayons in the box suck," then he stopped. His son was only four and looked upset
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1His cousin had chimpanzee-laughed right in his face. Well that wasn't going to stop him from inventing a perpetual motion machine. People had laughed at Einstein when he
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1It was her worst nightmare. She was the first woman president in US history. She was also a germaphobe. The campaign had almost killed her, now 4 years of this? She called
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0She sat in her car. Red light. No one was watching. She hooked her finger into her nose and smiled at her topnotch nose swag. It was one of those have gooey with a crusty shell
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4The drug cartel has shot up like a weed. Grown beyond his wildest dreams. They were now the government of Mexico, calling the shots. He finally could make
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1They wanted to chant the ten little Indians again. This time he started chanting, "Ten Little White People." The crowed was stunned into silence. All eyes upon him. How could
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1All that fills my eyes is white light. Snow and sun. The dogs know where we're going but my body no longer has a sense of direction. The shadowless world makes me feel like
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3"Wrong!" he shouted with triumph that bordered on eroticism. "You are so bloody wrong that it is putrid and pathetic. You are so wrong you will never be right again." With that he
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1I started drinking the sea water the moment the boat left San Pedro. I had swallowed a jelly fish and prayed it would kill me, but I am still here. Damn it. If only
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1The football team had lost another one. 0 and 11. Everyone hung their helmeted heads and got on the bus. Lumpy the couch just shook his head. The fat kid in the back yelled
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4were accidentally funny. Russel Simmons was at the next table at Hooters playing "She's Lump" with his knife and glass to annoy his wife, when he saw them. He cough laughed so hard
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1was his estate. He and inherited Anson Williams through a typo in the testamentary document that was left by lesbian nun who moonlighted as a printer for Legal Zoom. So he
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2had really low expectations. Ever since he was dead last in the Presidential Fitness challenge he stopped expecting greatness. That was his purpose, to assume sterile failure all
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4when she put on the glass slipper it didn't fit. Her bunions exploded the glass slipper into shards that shredded his tongue while he licked her heel. The door opened and a pumpkin
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2She's the school counselor. Tonight she called herself "Crazy Eights," and wore a Carrot Top mask, but I knew who it was my the missing knuckle. She played for keeps. I had an ace
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1A Limp Bizkit umbrella group chomped a pita in opposition to McDonald's chief. Few people knew that McDonald's had their own Native American Tribe. Their casino is just
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2“Take a look at me now,” he chortled into the dishwasher, “all the workshops of these colleges are kidding themselves. The students are a prop for the prof's alcoholism and
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1After about 50,000 thumbs up, between his lawn mower career and his lego hair on television, he will friend his dance this week on the cable network
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1Mr. Trance has interviewed famous ravers. Unlike other ecstasy hosts who will dance with glow sticks, he packs his baggy pants with huge barrels of
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2Dick's array of attention whores brought him wealth and popularity, along with recurring VD and criticism. His wealth allowed him to buy the site, www.richasshole.com, with