Finished Folds (8481—8500)
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2Assange started wikileaks because he had been kicked off the paper in high school for reporting the truth. The principle was dating the high school quarter back. He was married
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6When he sat in the chair the world zoomed around him. It was like watching a movie in fast forward. He stood up and noticed that 100 years had gone by. His wife was dead now and
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0Chevy Chase had just booked a bank commercial. Sweet Jesus had it come to this? He used to be funny right? Right!?!?!? Then his toothpaste said, "You were never funny, just
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1They were gable doors, the bottom half was open, the top half was closed. The little yuppies inhabiting her head had ordered them special from tiny head dwelling Amish. But
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1then she realized the plant had toes. It wasn't a giant plant, it was the Jolly Green Giant. Holy shit, and he was pissed. He was armed with M16, tear gas grenades and Teen Beat
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4But Jasper had already seen this episode of "24," so he clicked it off. The pasta machine came alive. It said in a raspy voice, "Gnocchi of death awaits you." He dug in the couch
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3and this big red pitcher blasted through the wall screaming, "Hey Kool Aid!" When the dust settled there was asbestos in everyone's drink. So I hired a lawyer, and
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0into a cloud of funk. The Ojay's started belting out "love train." I hit the gravity bong with Teddy Roosevelt gusto. I was so high that everyone sounded like barking spiders and
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3this milk maid had to hit the cheese. Or was it "Cut the cheese?" The hang over was interfering with the cliche part of his brain. That's alright, all enchiladas under the bridge
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3Then I smirked again. I smirked at funerals, I smirked when getting fired, I smirked when brushing my teeth. I had the Tarantula smirking disease. I am not a smart ass but
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3advertising for the local arena ball team. His dreamself thought, "wasn't there some left over pork roast in the shower?" The fridge busted so they had to fill the tub up with ice
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4would be so boring. It was lamer than a Rocky Horror picture show party thrown by the renaissance fair drop outs. This party needed a jolt. He grabbed the tupperware with bats
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0Ron Popiel who kept waving a flag that read, "Set and Forget It!" He grabbed the usher and said, "You are in a world of hurt." He squeezed dijon in his eyes and made a bee line
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3Because he was repulsed by this golf course. The devil loved par three's, but he wanted something designed by Chi Chi Rodriguez. He through the ham sandwich at the
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1He ran into the glass door. He left a huge greasy nose print. His pastor was inside stroking the dog with a Hair Pick. He was trying to fluffen up
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6I had not stolen the idea from that tiring Jason Bateman movie "The Switch." I loved Jason Bateman. He was a poor man's Michael J. Fox. I pretended that Valeri's family episodes
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2because he was Martin Lawrence's son, who was the star of Big Mama's House. He got a thunderbird t-top and painted "Mama's Boy" on the sides in flames. Then he found
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2puff up and get shiny like a bloated dead seal carcass. That was the bad news, the good news was that my wrinkles were gone. With my saved botox money I bought a
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3hippies from entering her personal space. Once she was in a powder puff football game and a Hippie defensive lineman tackled her. It was too much for her to handle
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2and that's as loud as it got. It was the Siberian mute circus. Even the elephants were silent. That's why it only cost loose change to be admitted. Funny thing was, Ronald McDonald