Finished Folds (8481—8500)
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1The ship smashed against the rocks. Severed heads rolled out of the chest. This is where the captain has been hiding his friends. I took the torch and waved it at
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0She sat squinting at the muted commercial. She loved car commercials. Then she farted on the couch and it sounded like a sea gull under a blanket. Then
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4saw her burst into flames. She was made of pure sodium and when the water molecules hit her, her head lit up like a roman candle. I pointed her at the School Bus, now it was
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2brother number 1. "Who's that?" he asked. "Arnold Jackson fool!" And they did rapid high fives so their arms looked like branches in a hurricane. Then they finished snorting
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0not many people were interested in, "Top 100 Insurance adjusters and their pet Hobbies." He had featured Dwight Lundergarten, who of course collected dried chicken heads.
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2illegal cyborg protocol, so I was free not to touch as much as possible. I waved my hands all around her face screaming, "I am not touching you,,,,I am not touching youuu." She
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450, 60 , 70, 80 and slam into fifth gear. Wind smacked him in the face, including a sea gull which bounced off his helmet. He angled higher, and then gritted his dentures. Now
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4Over time he had become more like a genuine DMV office worker. Pencils and pens in his bun, his moo moo was the right shade of pink, he had flip flops with that thick sole
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2Assange started wikileaks because he had been kicked off the paper in high school for reporting the truth. The principle was dating the high school quarter back. He was married
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6When he sat in the chair the world zoomed around him. It was like watching a movie in fast forward. He stood up and noticed that 100 years had gone by. His wife was dead now and
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0Chevy Chase had just booked a bank commercial. Sweet Jesus had it come to this? He used to be funny right? Right!?!?!? Then his toothpaste said, "You were never funny, just
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1They were gable doors, the bottom half was open, the top half was closed. The little yuppies inhabiting her head had ordered them special from tiny head dwelling Amish. But
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1then she realized the plant had toes. It wasn't a giant plant, it was the Jolly Green Giant. Holy shit, and he was pissed. He was armed with M16, tear gas grenades and Teen Beat
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4But Jasper had already seen this episode of "24," so he clicked it off. The pasta machine came alive. It said in a raspy voice, "Gnocchi of death awaits you." He dug in the couch
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3and this big red pitcher blasted through the wall screaming, "Hey Kool Aid!" When the dust settled there was asbestos in everyone's drink. So I hired a lawyer, and
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0into a cloud of funk. The Ojay's started belting out "love train." I hit the gravity bong with Teddy Roosevelt gusto. I was so high that everyone sounded like barking spiders and
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3this milk maid had to hit the cheese. Or was it "Cut the cheese?" The hang over was interfering with the cliche part of his brain. That's alright, all enchiladas under the bridge
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3Then I smirked again. I smirked at funerals, I smirked when getting fired, I smirked when brushing my teeth. I had the Tarantula smirking disease. I am not a smart ass but
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3advertising for the local arena ball team. His dreamself thought, "wasn't there some left over pork roast in the shower?" The fridge busted so they had to fill the tub up with ice
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4would be so boring. It was lamer than a Rocky Horror picture show party thrown by the renaissance fair drop outs. This party needed a jolt. He grabbed the tupperware with bats