Finished Folds (8521—8540)
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2into the shopping cart. He wanted to get another because it was two for one, but the broad wanted save her coupons for the Pet Shop Boys. She loved gay music from the
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0he was a blue ribbon cockknocker working the PM shift at Guitar Center. He would slap guitars out of people's hands and tell them not to quit their day job, then sing Roxette cover
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3out on a free apple fritter. Instead, he will urinate on a blanket and toss it on a smoke bomb. Maybe the Chinese will finally see him as he really was, a monster priest with
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3was not her strong suit. In fact, she was humor challenged. Her mother was a very successful class clown and lorded that over her daughter. So she mouthed her jokes instead
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1was losing this game of "Horse." He already had "Hors-," another missed basket and he's 86'd out of the Lion's club. But she wiped the wine reduction sauce off her
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2to give up being a high wire act. It isn't hard to fall off the wire when you anchor the thing straight to the ground. I once cut a clown in half when I stepped on the wire and
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3we swam upstream in the blood tunnel. He'd shrunk himself and was doing the back stroke through this Pakistani's arteries. Just then a giant white blood cell smoking a cigarette
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5They entered the clam shell tub and the clone sputtered and hissed. It was water resistant not water proof. "Damn," he thought. Then the clone spoke like stroked out Kirk Douglas
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4remorse and said, "The Whooping cough?" Then she pulled out her toenail clippers and mixed creamer in my Pom juice. She said, "I though I commanded you to never be ill." Then her
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3She had spent a lifetime controlling her emotions in public. Working as a cashier at Old Navy wasn't the place where one could "share." So she bought a beanie baby named Jesus
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3and said, "Make it SOOOOO NUMBER ONE!" I hated Number One. Big bearded fool drunkard. If I could bring Scotty back to life, I would make him Number One and send Reicher
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0So he started his own comics about really fat and sloppy Heroes. It was told from the perspective of a near-sighted dentist. Staying in the lines didn't matter and
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4So I rolled grandma in her wheelchair real slow. She collided with the Good Humor bumper. The driver was drunk and didn't see her. She got stuck under the truck. She sparked
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3So I took out the "razon sash" and said, "You are a beauty queen!" and whipped him in the face like a methed out monkey. I pulled his hair and said look at that,
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0coffin that had been decorated like the ship from Peter Pan. Someone screamed, "Show your tits!" and hit him in the head with beads, and that really hurt. He took out his uzi
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2the Circle K and ate a bunch of those cookies that 3 for 99 cents. The clerk chased us out with a pitbull because we tried to pay with Performance Art. Tom was
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3they found out Jerry Springer had a special gift for them. He took them on his Yacht and opened the sea chest. He pulled out crazy straws in the shape of sunglasses and
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2That was before we realized that what we thought was Germany was Romania. We are total Geography dunces. That was because we were traumatized by
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2was at Mad Magazine in those days. We really thought that "Cracked" was going to overtake us. We had no idea that there was a double agent, taking our gags and
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2Wilson started talking about suicide again, I laughed. I slapped him in his giant whittled wood nose and told him to give a rest. I have a dinner to prepare for 12 guests and