Finished Folds (181—200)
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6Ted's dad was psychotic, Tigger decided. "I must rescue Ted!" thought Tigger, bouncing around the room. "That's just what I'll do-hoo-hoo!" So Tigger grabbed his Colt-45 &
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7Truth was, I wasn't a damn bit sorry. I hated that damn goldfish. Tears streaked down Jim's face. "He...he was...spu-special," Jim sniffled. I felt like slamming the goldfish bowl
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3I was laughing so hard, I couldn't answer him. "Yeah-heheheeheeh!" I guffawed as I stepped out of my clothes, "lubed up", capped, & downed a beer. Freckles cracked open the door
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5Linda Blair's head in The Exorcist & spat green vomit on my face. "Get thee behind me!" I shouted, pushing my upside-down cross necklace into her face. The cross branded her cheek
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6were ruined by his reference to me as "my peach" and also the fact that, dammit, he really couldn't dance. "It takes two to tango, my fuzzy little coconut," smiled & grabbed his
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5vaciously, and yet my eyes felt strangely heavy. "That's right," my friends murmured. "Sleep...sleep...poppies will make your sleep..." I must have slept for decades because when I
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4Like me. Say, do you like checkers? Can we play checkers now?
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3And that, my dears, is how how the universe was created. Twas never a Big Bang, after all.
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8himself before he would violate me, bless his heart. So see? You thought this tale would have some sordid ending, didn't you? But instead, Chilly Willy proved chivalrous.
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4happening without his knowledge. It'd happened before, Dr. Sardonicus realized. But this was what made life so interesting, was it not? This third dream was not what he'd expected.
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3the after-effects of my shock treatment. I could twitch my eye so they'd believe me. They DID believe me, the naive idiots that they were! And so I still roam...
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5I sniffed. The time had come. "Hush little baby," I cooed, rocking him until his eyes closed. He grasped my hand with tender innocence & suddenly it was over. And then began again.
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5to pay my medical bills or... "Or you could leave a body part as a deposit," the doctor explained. I checked my wallet. "My spleen," I replied. "You may take my spleen."
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2a spot blowtorch treatment. Trouble was, the night before I'd spilled 90 proof whiskey on that exact cushion when I, too, had been startled by the stink. My sofa went up in flames!
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10pursed my lips, crossed my arms, looked up at the ceiling & sort of lollygagged away from this entire filthy situation. My boss noticed something wrong. "What's wrong? Why are you
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4moved, it moved. He ducked into the men's room, it did too. He ran from security & the shadowy figure did as well! Security took 'em both down at the same time. Adventure over.
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4o the pasture.That's right.Go on right through that gate there. Go on." The gate slammed shut & Jared turn & galloped the other direction.That's how it happens: Put out to pasture.
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3as there was another interruption: DING DONG! It was Girl Scouts selling cookies, but when they saw the witch's pox-ridden face, they dropped their cookies & ran away. Little Witch
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3y and there was no turning back now. Then, as if sent by God, Dolly Parton beamed down from the sky, strumming her guitar, singing Jolene. And they all lived happily ever after!
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4"I won't", I snapped. Then, as the spider mama approached me, she roped me in with her web & opened her mighty jaws to snap off my head.