Finished Folds (861—880)
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5Mary J was born this way. With long, scraggly gray hair, kaleidoscope eyes, and a birthmark on her bum resembling Bob Marley, the obstetrician had never seen a newborn like her.
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3ed across the floor. I remained rooted in my place, staring straight ahead as the laundromat attendant tried to stifle a scream. I won this battle once again. The dryer dinged.
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1Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do. And then, it was finished.
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5lly didn't want to be the savior of the universe, but I supposed somebody had to do it. *SIGH* I pushed the expansion button & the worlds returned to normal. All in a days work!
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1Sister Mary Elizabeth poked me with her ruler. "YOU!" she hissed. "Are supposed to be memorizing Psalm 102, not playing video games! GO immediately to confession!"
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3out because who, oddly enough, was loitering there on the corner but my Uncle Owens! "Hey!" I shouted at him as I got out of the cab. But he didn't seem to recognize me. "Yo, Uncle
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5during embalming. Gravely he considered his options as he worked. He had stiff competition around town, but there weren't many florists. YES! He'd call it "Pushing Daisies".
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2in his speedos on his Vespa. I waved him down & jumped on behind him. "DRIVE!" I commanded angrily. "ANYWHERE!" Guido & I made it to San Jose. I left Jeff behind, FOREVER.
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4effect, as were the bubbles dancing around the room. Anna-one, Anna-two. The old man was down for the count. I never knew I could enjoy a Lawrence Welk reunion show so much!
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5Unbeknownst to John Cleese, however, Lana was a mind-reader & knew his tawdry thoughts of Wanda. She went along with it, though, just to see how much of a lyin' cheater he was.
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2She uncorked the washed up bottle & read: "If a little girl happens to find this message, she will become Queen of The Universe." That little girl, of course, was me. And so,
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2sand. Mirage. I look up again at the relentless sun. How I got separated from the desert tour group, I'll never know. I sunk to my knees in despair. I had no food & no water. Only
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3saw the handwriting on the wall in his dream and WOKE WITH A START. "My GOD! That's brilliant!" Mr. Bojanga jumped from his covers & quickly copied the plan from his dream. Revenge
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4I leafed through the journal's fragile yellow pages, skimming over the spidery handwriting, my eyes growing wider & then: "The finder of my journal shall be both blessed & cursed."
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4Then she snuck, still snickering, around the corner to watch. It didn't take long. In moments, the meringue-lipped thieves lay sprawled across her kitchen table, strangely smiling.
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8him, something he couldn't quite put his finger on. In the end, it didn't matter. The third "man" unzipped his body costume & the alien monster stepped out. The phone went dead.
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6The next morning, Chanel giggled as she read the headlines. RESTAURANT DESTROYED: POLICE SUSPECT PIE BOMB. She called Betty. "OMG! Did you see the morning news? I hope no one suspe
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4"I'm gonna let you off with a warning this time, big fella," the cop said. "But if I get another call about you messin' with Humpty again, I'm gonna..." YogiBear lunged at the cop
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2Shrugging, I attended to other matters at hand: how to get them rounded into the back of my old pick-up truck. I dug through the trash in the back seat. Ah! My lasso! Now, if I
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3. "Are you sure you're doing the right thing?" I asked. "Remember what happened in Roswell." He didn't answer, silently making a neat incision through the creature' s abdomen.