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writing sexually suggestive tales about her. She was afraid people would believe them! They knew how shy she was and it made her a little angry, too. Chris decided -
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seemingly rational people to lose their minds over religion and politics?" Unfortunately, our project was doomed when every question devolved into fistfights. The next project
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l, but I guess inbreeding jokes are universal. I think we've all heard stories about our neighbor's cousin's uncle indulging in activities best not satirized, but I did--satirize.
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Kristi knew the secret to a good, clean carving was butter, not that fake margarine Amber was using. "Not even pigs will eat that slop," Kristi chuckled. She knew victory was
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, however, that bank tellers were once highly regarded and well paid. Funny how those who care for what is most dear to us (babysitters, teachers, bank tellers) are paid the least.
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e story that his great-grandfather was the founder of Gimbel's department store. For Macy to merge the two businesses, to create Gacy's, would be a pathetically bad PR move.
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They still glistened from the holy water baptism they had received years before. They quivered slightly as if affirming her suspicions. Or did they? "Nah," she shook her head.
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it turns out, like many demo models, the popup Poptart was a fake, and when I bit into it, I broke a tooth. Putrified pulp proceeded prohibiting prospective popup Poptart pleasure.
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terribly beaten that when I looked into the mirror, the sight of my swollen eye and split lips resembled the lone meatball laying on the floor. I lost my appetite. Little did Henry
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lapdance instead of the secret handshake at the meeting last night. "Frankly, Hugh," brayed Eeyore, "that dance would have been better coming from a bunny rather than you."
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rolling along the floor and attracting dust from the carpet like a giant Swiffer. "It's a degrading way to earn a living," he said on his first night out. Then the mites attacked.
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sound of dog food breaking suction from its can. The muppet head was irrevocably broken. Whatever will they do for a mascot now? I guess they will have to
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Saint Peter. Acting as gatekeeper to a bunch of rude, entitled snit-throwers who didn't belong wasn't his job, as he saw it, so he went on strike, barring their way into heaven.
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theory about chemtrails increasing the heartworm population is entirely false. Some conspiracy theorists will say anything to get people to buy into what they are saying, like
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and it popped out, speaking political views foreign to her, making her naseous in the process. After finishing, it hopped away. Heidi felt purged, as though reaching catharsis.
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scrambled up a tree (because TV dogs can do that). Rin Tin Tin scraped some bark into the man's gaping mouth. "I guess it's true," Rin laughed. "My bark is worse than my bite!
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her red slippers, and her little dog, too. She was stuck in the past with her fantasies of The Wizard of Oz and insisted he call her "Aunt Dorothy." He grumbled, "I'll call you
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"What a terrible name for a disease," lamented the professor. "You need a pronounceable acronym like SCUBA or NASA, but IOBPE?" he scoffed, "Inexcusable!"
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Unfortunately, 400 cattle was not a good thing. With all the hoo-hah over global warming, he would have to pay someone to take them.
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staying inside after drinking that, are you? The stoat and the parrot snickered as the dog glared at them. His house training problems were a source of ridicule for the old cur.