Finished Folds (341—360)
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6Loxy, whose presence in the craft unnerved her. Foxy Loxy stood over the dead body of Chicken Little. “Bitch wouldn’t stop saying ‘the sky is falling!’, so I put a cap in her ass."
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2They could be STINGY too. Known to squeeze every nickel until the buffalo farted, those humans were despised by all who came in contact with them. We decided to turn the tables on
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4flea Yankee Candle. The owners of Flea Shopping Mall thought it was a good idea, but they found most fleas didn’t have money to buy stuff. They just walked the mall and freeloaded.
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4Igor’s eyes brightened. I turned to see my sister rise, zombiefied, brain unharmed by electrocution. “Thomebody’th gonna be thorry they thcrewed with me!” she lisped. “Thatth YOU!"
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4p his mom’s nose. The kid shrieks with delight: “That’s not Freddie KRUEGER, that’s Freddie BOOGER!” Not liking being mocked, Freddie exits the nostril & slices the kid to ribbons.
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4t the gnus: “Born in the Gnu Essay.” Bruce Springbok explained to anyone who would listen that his song honored the current gnu literary revival. Huey Lewis & the Gnus took offense
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3The prison doctor approached the cannibal’s bed like Maxwell Smart: “The old poison-skin-to-disable-the-cannibal-when-he-bites trick! That’s the 3rd time I’ve seen it this month!"
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4through the silence. Norm faced the roar, scared. “Ahem,” said the lion. “Sorry to scare you, old boy, but you want the studio?” Norm nodded. “Well, too bad!” The lion stalked him.
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4They THOUGHT they knew Mickey from his Judy Garland film but didn’t know “Rooney the Gun Nut” & his obsessions. He climbed the tower, rifle ready. “This is for you, Judy my love!"
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5Then she got serious about hurling trees & threw a fiery giant redwood. “Hakamo-san, look out!” yelled Saiki just in time. I dodged the tree, but now the whole forest was aflame.
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2But he was no idiot. All that pecking was just a front before he could announce the top position he had secured in the “Trump 2020” campaign. Wait...did I just say he was no idiot?
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1was her favorite hymn, her own composition. Down the spiral stairs she went to where the Pope lay on the rack. She plugged in an electric drill & approached him. “Your HOLE-iness!"
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2Roosevelt. “Hey! He can’t be dead!” said a victor. “He’s going to be president!” “Where in the Constitution does it say the president has to be alive?” “Well, you got me there!"
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4and sang Ringo’s vocal on “With a Little Help from My Friends” with great enthusiasm. Problem was, Big Ma couldn’t carry a tune if it had handles, and the rest of the band plotted
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2Even the judge thought the bailiff’s hat was silly and told him to take it off. “Of course, Your Honor!” said the bailiff. He removed the hat to reveal, perched atop his head, a
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4themselves an endangered species because they were wanted for their oil. The franchise tried regular cooking oil to fry monkey heads, but hyena oil just had extra zing. But the hy
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2shaking it violently listening for loose parts. Something loose WAS rattling in the microwave, & mother glared at them. “Put that down!” she yelled. What could they do but comply?
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1And now, hitting my PAUSE button was my final blunder. I tried to GO, but I couldn’t hit my GO button because I was on PAUSE. Soon my battery would be completely run dow-- -- --
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4football team. Not the REAL team: they were at an away game. He cast Chess Club geeks as footballers, who were THRILLED to be in a porno and demonstrated impressive mating skills.
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4The marketers promoted mystery meat tacos as being just that. “Take a bite,” the voice over cooed, “and revel in a SECRET sauce.” More often though, customers reveled in diarrhea.