Finished Folds (161—180)
-
3and Dave tried an old trick. “Shoe’s untied!” he said, pointing to the scorpion’s feet. The scorpion never wore shoes to gladiatorial combat and didn’t fall for it. Dave cried like
-
4under the hood and seeing a brass plaque that read: “This is the last Saab 900 ever made.” Beatrice bought the car but didn’t notice when the hood was open it was minus one engine.
-
3take several tender slices of olive loaf, two slices of white bread, and Reddi Whip to craft an unforgettable sandwich. Next, when the puking from the crowd had died down, I would
-
4be, what with my arm whistling from 2 bullet holes. When Lionel Jeffries exited the outhouse his character called a hut, Truly Scrumptious had dragged herself toward me, hoping to
-
1around her fans. “I’m NOT a racist symbol!” yelled Aunt Jemima. “Hell, I’m just trying to make a living! Nothing racist there!” The politically correct warriors thought otherwise
-
3And Rudolph? He went back to being reindeera-non-grata. The other reindeer knew his fame arose only from a cheesy song, whereas theirs arose from a respected holiday poem. Rudolph
-
1on souvlaki and moussaka in the dumpster. Stuffed, the Maine coon and the pups hailed a cab. They hadn’t gone a mile when the driver was overcome by the animals’ breath and farting
-
2bowing his head in shame as Ward admonished him. Wally peeked around the doorway behind Ward’s back, making faces. “Dad,” Beaver began, then Ward pulled his arm back and slapped
-
2after school. Brenda closed the diner for 2 hours after school to keep the destructive kids out. First day: No problem. Second day: The kids threw Molotov cocktails at the diner,
-
3your fault. Still, fault or no fault, I was not going to reveal to you the hidden magic panties. They were no ordinary magic panties, mind you. The Sacred Skid Mark of Life was on
-
2e—and I’m talkin’ about the landline. I also don’t know about no Internet, neither. What the hell is it? Tain’t no net on the contraption that I can see! Shee-it, these newfangled
-
2a whistle-blowing insider learned the actors were all white guys wearing Indian makeup (they worked cheaper). The film executives were furious, cancelling the project immediately.
-
1like Poppin’ Fresh, handling the pokes with giggles. Then an awkward gay feeling arose and he swatted the finger away. The DJ had to talk about sports all day to clear the gayness.
-
5and went to Morticia, whom he was having an affair with. No fan of birth control, Lurch got her pregnant. A bulge appeared soon after and her only response was “The butler did it!"
-
2draw a bead on the perps. I knew only after I pulled the trigger and the “BANG!” flag dropped from the barrel that I had the wrong gun. The perps stopped beating the officer and
-
4and Bullwinkle made his typical stupid remarks that showed no understanding of the case. Rocky had to explain it all to him. Honey Bucket got tired of Bullwinkle’s stupidity and
-
4he was shocked to see a middle-aged woman taking it in 3 orifices. “Mom?!?” cried Mammon. “YOU?!?” Mrs. Mammon stopped her debauchery long enough to speak. “Son, close the van door
-
2“Surely you suspected, sir,” replied Alfred. “When have you seen me with a woman?” Batman admitted he hadn’t. Alfred smirked. ”In fact, that cowl and cape of yours are very hot!"
-
5I conked him with a mallet and doused him with my acid seltzer bottle. The other clown fell in a heap, his head and face a ruin. The crowd had no idea, thinking it was all an act.
-
2of the badgers teased. “Oh yeah?” yelled Jame ferociously, “How would you like to be made into a shaving brush?” The badgers backed away at that threat, and Jame’s possessions cont