Finished Folds (161—180)
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2bad because the only real side effect was her desire to catch and eat moths at the lamp outside our backdoor at night. Oh, and she also ripped dad's head off after they made love.
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2Kardashian's butt implants and then present them to Slim Shady so he could make an awesome kick-ass (pardon the pun) song about the all-day job of licking Kim's ass.
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5at being able to produce awesome banana split sundaes. I mean who better than a bunch of alien monkeys could finally perfect banana-based desserts?!
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2"Alright Willy, back you go" said the security guard as he grabbed me. Which was weird as my name is Dick, but my willy was hanging out through the fly of my orange jump suit.
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2Well, unless you consider masturbation marathons a hobby. Heck, it does take talent, practice, stamina, and dexterity.
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4h defying leap from buildings, and basically blowing more men than her nose could blow tissues during a sinus infection. Yes, Ms. Utah became a bigger whore than Anna Nicole
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3ability to look into mirrors without anyone noticing. Unfortunately, it became an unhealthy obsession where I became more and more attracted to myself and found I was unable to
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3He looked at me through his tears and said "I'll never be as hot at Beyonce, so why bother taking care of myself anymore?" He then stuffed another piece of meatball pizza into his
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3and I looked to the left and said,"Isn't that Cher and Madonna?!" The midget drag queens turned too look and tripped on their 8 inch stilettos, which gave me the chance to bolt
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6tested my Mardi Gras PortaPotty concept at a local Catholic festival. Turns out that after two beers those Catholics can get down and dirty, because the PortaPotties were used as
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1m both the pro thumb wresting circuit and her night job as a Craigslist "masseuse." Sally decided to pursue her true dream: professionally compete in pant-smuggling monkeys.
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4the full page Cosmo article that was written about him. But the Japanese-language version was botched with a headline "Carlos Monkey Nom Noms on Cashews and Wears Protection Hat."
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4sound like a good idea, but apparently Social Services were not too thrilled with the DIY "BITCH" tattoo I made on my 5 year old's forehead. But come on, she was never going to
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2towards the gutter ... much like this story. So, anyway, yesterday while I was riding my unicorn over the rainbow to meet my friend Eli, the Jewish Leprechaun, I noticed that
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4would do. I immediately removed my socks and turned them into sock puppets and acted out my favorite episode of "The Odd Couple." It was the one were Felix and Oscar kiss for the
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4how my testosterone regiment had finally allowed me to reach puberty at the age of 43. Though, I may have overdone it as I look like a wookie when nude. Finally, the klit was giv
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4it turns out that they were offended I whipped my privates out to measure against Adam, and I screamed "I'm BIGGER than the first man!" I thought the Creation Museum curator would
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2banana slicer that she had waited months to receive from Amazon.com. It didn't work very well on the orangesicles, but made the most perfectly cut bananas for daughter Heidi to
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7as the freckled kid from the fastfood joint. After years of waiting, he took his revenge for my mocking his freckles by using spoiled grease to cook my french fries. Darn him and
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6Nom nom nom nom nom. The giant sloth munched on the pile of Reece's cups. He turned his head, threw up, and then began eating more. Oh, why was he so fat, he wondered.