Finished Folds (3261—3280)
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2that 24 blackbirds were required for the pie filling had not included any clause stating that said blackbirds must be well-fed, or even alive, but the supplier was a professional
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2But Auntie Flo only visited once a month, and her nephew drove while intoxicated more frequently than that. In the end he wound up hitting the Popemobile and got life in prison.
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3The pianist would have given them the finger, but he had to save his fingers for the concert. The orchestra could hear the crowd gathering on the other side of the curtain as they
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9"Everyone into the Creepy Tent!" and in we all went, just as All Existence collapsed. We huddled there, with the scary clowns in that bubble of Otherness until a new universe
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5Snowy knew that, being a dog, he would never live another 36 years, so he retired and went to live a spiritual life in the Himalayas. He did not need a coat, just a sense of
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4killed every horror movie proposal that landed on his desk. "Damn it, Voorhees," sputtered John Carpenter, "at this rate we'll never get another horror movie produced!" But Jason
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4-kwardly out of their chairs, some of them falling onto their ample behinds, and crept out the back door to their sty, defeated and dejected by the chocolate pudding. It was almost
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3favorites. Connuption said it tasted like the bottom of a cardboard shoe and Conniption threw a fit over this. I threw them out of my banquet. How dare they insult grandma's recipe
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6"Yeah, this is Gingerbread Guy," the voice answered, "Can you hold on a moment? I have to smell this other shoe before I forget what the first one smells like." Dingy's heart lept.
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6But when the doors opened on Floor Five there was only a line of pregnant women in labor. "Bear down!" their midwives instructed. This was not what I had in mind! I leapt back into
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6And indeed she was a witch, a Hollywood witch named Hagnes who lived by the H and wanted to die by the H, but the county ordinance did not allow huts on the hills of Hollywood, so
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1and shaved the King's beard off while he slept. The next morning he was shocked to see his bald chin in the mirror, but his mood had lightened. Now he could hold his head high and
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4But when they lit it, only a sad, blue spark fizzed for a moment and was gone. Not even enough to light a tea candle. The leader's heart sank. He had wanted armageddon and all he
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11a rash and embarrassing odor. The Captain called Dr. Derriere's office to complain and got his receptionist, Toni Tennille. They talked a good, long time while the Chairman steamed
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4felt that the fairies had grabbed all the pretty costumes and left them with the dreary ones that made them look like manure and toadstools. Blippo the Bland decided that he wanted
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5worlds were born, life ignited, civilizations established. That singular dot which was the source of everything was recognized by some as God, but others said- what pencil made tha
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2began having pregnancy cravings, Maurice knew things had gone too far. How was he going to explain this to the bonobo's father, Mr. Goompo? He was not the cheeriest primate on the
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5the USA be without cheeseburgers? Hamburgers were invented in Hamburg and cheese was probably invented when some Italian cow had a lactose leak and it fermented, but otherwise...
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6pink fur bikinis. She thought this would humiliate the mafia men, but it turned out that the men loved the way the pink fur made their bikini areas look bulkier. Soon every mafia
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4of Mrs. Donahue, who preferred futons anyway. But the phantom whiffle balls had evil plans for her. They floated over her bed and pretended to be long lost relatives to whom she