Finished Folds (1281—1300)
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7. "GET OFF OUR BACKS", the turtles bellowed, and I scrambled down, using their furious little-old-man heads as steps. My eyes darted about for an exit from this weird world.
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3had no other choice but to call Detective Manatee. His voice was weary. "Look madame," he said to her, "I have no wish to tangle with Satan, but I think you may have a case."
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6"Stop shooting me with that pistol," he cried, "it's really beginning to irritate me!" By this time he was pock-marked by bullets, but kept right on griping. So I decided to jump
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3"Get out of this marriage," yelled the KFC clerk, "..or are you chicken?" Karen stepped back, alarmed. She knew she was chicken. She knew she was fried, and finger-lickin' good.
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4over Gerta the Giantess' huge face. She hated it when the dwarves visited because they always looked up her skirts and made rude comments about her choice of underwear. But this
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3"Ape, Rick ought to be here," snapped the younger woman. "No need to get nasty," replied Pit the elderly lady, "He's prolly out raisin' cane, like always." "You old prune!" spat
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2"Bono, honey," purred the princess (even though she was worried sick, "I'm not sure that it's healthy for a monkey like you to be drinking so much moonshine." Bono's bloodshot
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2But finding pants into which his slow-cooker thighs would fit was problematic. He was eventually able to locate some jodhpurs that did the trick. But by now the urchins were famish
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4And with a flash of lightening, he was gone. Taken into the bosom of hell. No chance for me to follow him there. He was safe at last. I did not weep for him, but went for coffee.
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4Miss Jane called from the dining room, but when Mr. Drysdale, Veronica and Jughead rushed in for their dessert, instead they found Miss Jane in a scant negligee. "Too rich for my
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3-t have detonated somewhere over the lonely ocean and startled a fish, but that was hardly the effect I had anticipated. So I gave up bomb-making and took up flower arrangement.
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6Despite rave reviews after opening night, the newt's musical failed to attract Satan, who vastly preferred more depressing dramas. But the newt became the toast of Broadway, and
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3-er noticing my pink pants. "Look Mommy, that man has pink pants!" a child hollered, and pretty soon everyone (except her- she was fixing her hair) was pointing and laughing at me.
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6strange rendition, but some say it comes from the mountain where Crushed Julian went to recover from being trampled by mastodons one spring. No-one has seen him since, but he is
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0and I ended the story, just to shorten the long line of stories that had begun but had not continued. Peace to you, my friends. And good night.
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3And there was the God I had imagined in my youth, beckoning me to my new home. I ran to her arms and in her embrace I lost all the bitterness I had collected during my crappy life.
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2I was given the grant immediately, not because of my presentation, but because they needed to get me out of the review room before my stinking armpits asphyxiated the judges. Soon
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3Having captured the pizza ghosts in my vacuum, I ran to the nearest medium, Madame Lorraine. She listened intently to the howls from the Hoover for a moment before proclaiming that
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2the inevitable prison vermin. The prison vermin took offense at being stolen by the incarcerated thieves, and took their revenge on them by chewing at them in their sleep. When one
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3Sugarpie kicked off her impractical pink cha-cha heels and gritted her teeth as she fled down the alley from the brute, who was waiting over his broken fist. This was her only