Finished Folds (2081—2100)
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6for the keys to his Navigator. He begrudgingly handed them to Spot and said, "Once around the block and that's it, okay boy?" Spot barked his approval, hopped into the SUV, and
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2Down below, I bullied and bopped her for the billions in bullions built like an o(bull)isk without blowing a bullet or bellowing the bullpen, no bull. But the splinters hurt.
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2Stitch ate all of his luggage on his way there, but luckily Honolulu had plenty to satiate his otherworldly appetite. Such things included Tito of Rocket Power lore.
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4Crocs became too literal for comfort. But she didn't scale it back because she was thick-skinned. One day she even wore a leopard-skin coat composed of live leopards, as well as
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6pants, handed them a ruler, and said, "Measure my butt!" They were hesitant, but when I told them they could just measure its radius and then multiply by 2 times pi, they obliged.
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4belly dancers at the mall who are slightly overweight and slightly too close to my reckless Sbarro-and-Cinnabon lunch. But he was born to strut his gut. He cut up his shirts and
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9Eating an entire pound of pistachios all at once was a poor decision. Poorer yet was Bob's decision to eat the shells too, as evidenced by the scratch marks they left on his
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6"I don't do animal cruelty," said Dali. "But I will paint more melted stuff." I considered requesting that he paint a melting tuna melt, for redundancy's sake, but I settled on
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3heathens, sorcerers, and various other damned fools. They were the Galilee Gang, the most leather-clad squadron of holier-than-thou's ever assembled. They were led by Pope
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3"Ackbar was right," I thought. "How am I supposed to attend tonight's execution with my foot in a bear trap? Well, I guess I'm gettin' a hickey from a doohickey." I chuckled, but
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12on a magazine rack. And he received no flak for the yak of his jack. But he was taken aback by an attack from some quack riding a hack (without slack) on a railroad track.
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5Id, who had apparently opened a fb account and started relationships with every girl I knew. And he was following virtually every female on twitter, including my mom, Jocasta.
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5ladouche impersonators, and any other expendable life forms, to be the front line of my well-hydrated assault. I wasn't familiar with Utes, but I had heard
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4were hiding Dora floaties and auto-tune programs in their anuses and various other cavities and orifices. This wasn't your dad's Olympics. But the biggest difference these days
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5the blue chick from Avatar. But this was a boring repairs mission to the ISS. NASA's virtual reality tour wasn't nearly as exciting as Jeremy had hoped. After making repairs, he
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2for Tyra Banks to get him some Proactiv, the kind with the green tea moisturizer. But he was a man now, and his hunting buddies would frown upon that sort of thing, so he shot a
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4shamu died, and she was sensitive about that sort of thing. It all started when her goldfish died of a claustrophobic panic attack in its plastic castle. She was so distraught that
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5better than the coffee date with the despotic mule driver with a penchant for lispy poetry slamming. He raged about burrossss over churrossss. But she was much happier now that
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2Goldeen's lip. But Misty got back up and commanded, "Goldeen, use Horn Drill on that bastard!" The bloodied fish obliged, and
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4-er than my grandpa. She was pushing her walker along in the back alley when she was confronted by a group of thugs. I climbed down the side of my house to help her but