Finished Folds (2101—2120)
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1"In the middle of opportunity lies difficulty." Naturally, this didn't bode well for Tosh's ratings in the crucial Einstein-enthusiast demographic. But it wasn't nearly as awful as
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3-ecutioner friend was on her speed dial. Frank was an old-fashioned killer who preferred such "archaisms" as guillotines and battle-axes. If her friend rubbed her the wrong way
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2been reanimated as a zombiepocket with an insatiable desire for hotpocket flesh. To this day, it still terrorizes freezer aisles, dorm rooms, and trailer parks worldwide.
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4-garious can-canning capital of the world. Beyond that tidbit, the pamphlet on the whole didn't impress me much. I asked my travel agent to book me a flight to Jamaica instead.
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2like White Zombie, Rob Zombie, Tor Johnson, and Ed (Shaun's friend). No zombie could go far in undeath without a degree in biology, the study of life.
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5I put it on and never took it off. Everyone knows that the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time.
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3-s and honkers. But as I soon discovered, the sounds of purple owls and car horns don't bode well for one's sanity. Drunk and deranged, I forced my way into what I thought was
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5him to be the guinea pig for my experiment on the effects of second-hand Maui wowie. The results were staggering. As soon as Charles stepped into my copious cannabis cloud,
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5Hugh Hefner. "Hey there, trippy nippy," he said, with a twinkle in his eye. He was old, but I had always wanted to live in a mansion. We held hands all the way to Holmby Hills.
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7Just then I saw an ant making off with my Macaroni Grill leftovers. He had a colony to feed, but I'd been looking forward to that stromboli all day. When I bent down to grab it
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4room showfloor at the Ashley Furniture Warehouse. Ashley was curious as to why a bloodied minimum wagee was lying on her prized Mpingo Table, but before she could react,
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4, "Mavericks refudiate Obamacare Death Panels." But Trump didn't pay any attention to Palin's roguespeak. He was too busy staring at
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4Jimmy loved the ocean, but he couldn't stay afloat without his yellow ducky inner tube. On a particularly foggy Pacific morning, his inner tube popped when he brushed up against
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2"Enough of this dark sarcasm. What is your verdict?" But the child jurors just made fart noises and sang, "Hey, preachers, leave us kids alone!" The judge tried to restore order by
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6the center remained cold as ice despite several minutes of meticulous microwavery. So as her forehead and chin received 2nd-degree burns, her nose stayed ghost-pale. Improvising, I
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3The masked men stormed in, yelling, "This is a stick-up!" But the tellers of Tightwad Bank had been trained to fight back. They jumped over their desks and
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5swarm of arrows at the end of Hero. But there wasn't a 7-Eleven in sight, so I would have to make an icee with things I could find on the street, like
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5"Look daddy, I drew a puppy!" Billy exclaimed. His father skeptically examined the picture and surmised, "Actually son, that looks like a
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7"Yes Tracy, smoking crystal meth is bad for your teeth. But it's ALSO a great way to increase your metabolism," said Officer Doug, our D.A.R.E. instructor. "Any more questions?"
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4there was no defending the heroin blisters around his throbbing temple veins, nor the coke mustache. The pathologist concluded that the cause of death was