Finished Folds (2141—2160)
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3butt cheeks fissured. Once I had also contracted priapism of the nipples, I began to question my choice of beverage. I made the switch to decaf and lived an awkward but happy life.
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2, but the Kool-Aid Man had beat him to it. Jimmy Buffet shattered him with a ukulele, sending a deliciously lethal combo of kool-aid and broken glass at the margarita-soaked kids.
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5-grad fell prey to a Gyp odor so strong that it drove the Gypos and Gypsters (who felt gypped) all the way to E(Gyp)t. When Stalin's car quit Stallin', he too left Stalingrad and
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3emergency escape pod, but not before I had taken all the money out of everyone's carry-on bags. The pod detached from the doomed aircraft, and my rich ass landed smoothly in
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4drink a pitcher of my patented green, 180-proof-Nyquil eggnog. Then i pass out, only to wake up three days later in Rockville, Maryland, married to a woman I've never met.
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7wit and intellect by reading Marmaduke comics. Disgusted by the pituitary gigantism on TV, I set out to show the world that the mind is truly stronger than the body. I grabbed my
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1same thing Jordan would've done (I also refused to post-up and just settled for contested jumpers at the end of the shot clock... but I digress). Once I had taken my talents to
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6-tics?!?" asked Santa. "Jesus's birthday isn't gonna celebrate itself!" But the elves had no plans of picking up their little elf mallets ever again; and without toys, Santa
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4mispronunciation education headquarters. This is the place where they taught people not to say "NUKE -yuh-lerr." They also offered online courses in "excape" and "irregardless."
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6went to the home of Aunt Jemima and Marie Calendar, an interracial lesbian duo, where syrup and pie were always on the menu. They fed all of us until
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3by installing a cup-and-string phone between each piece of our consciousness, courtesy of Sprint, thereby mending the schism with communication (despite the fundamental differing).
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5set Mark had bought her for Christmas: the stained-steel, As Seen on TV 10-piece Shappu 2000. She cut up jumbo marshmallows into the classic Peeps shape for him, and all was well.
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3Big Lion achieved commercial success with his song "Big Loins." The christian right and misogyny-sensitive lionesses disapproved. But he was the new King of the Concrete Jungle.
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5carrying around an erection?" she asked. Yeah, Megan knew, and she didn't bother acting like she wasn't impressed. It's not every day that you see stiffies like that in a nunnery.
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9fun. If you hold on tightly to a pair of buffalo wings and flap your arms up and down really fast, you can FLY. I put on my Superman outfit just in case, and jumped off
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4Disillusioned, I went for a walk. I saw a guy I recognized, but I didn't know his name. He wanted to hold my hand, but I said no. I later discovered that he was Eric Clapton.
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3so I threw the terrorist into them and went searching for Mr. Brown. I questioned Mr. Black, who revealed that Mr. Brown was out of town.
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3they have pork rinds. Auntie Suey's is my favorite brand, and this was the only gas station that had them. Sure, they go right through me, but there's a prize inside.
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2couldn't speak falsehoods. Being the other brother that I was, I could not deny this, what with the girl's itty bitty waist and her round thing in my face. I got sprung.
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3z by black people. ACTUAL black people (so... not Wayne Brady). All the BET, young jeezy downloads, and on-the-ground pants had finally paid off. We were certified fresh.