Finished Folds (301—320)
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4-ld face me, King Tut's soul's bodily host. I stood on my tiptoes, arms waving, on a Pyramid. "All these, and all you, are mine!" A tourist pegged me with a sandball. Modern Egypt
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7a sniper with an angry emoticon face. From what depthless pit did this augury of doom crawl? The 2D cardboard sniper summons his firing squad; I fear their bullets cause paper cuts
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4I'm done typing folds that are "like" bait. You're too smart for that, you god(dess) you. Mmm I wanna paint a keyboard on you and show you all the shortcuts. Would you "like" that?
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1keep filling my man cave with cement and I'll stuff myself into your "perfect guy" cookie cutter. Cut me up, buttercup." This was the result she'd hoped for. Abort nag, abort nag!
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4e like it was shot out of a cannon, so I made a wish. "That star's not shooting, it's falling with style,"said Imaginary Friend 867.3. "Don't *twitch* *spaz* speak out of turn, or
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4for the Hamburg Helper ja! The cooking show was real, but the nature of the audience participation was the ruse. "Look under your chairs," said Hans. "The burners should be heating
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5'm stuck on an elevator between two floors, trapped in a bliss purgatory. But the worst thing about heaven is the culture. Have you ever met a harp player who isn't insufferable?
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6gender, and my taste in gender, and luckily our OCD canceled out (thank Darwin!). I've already gone about modifying your DNA for our next child. Your conceit has been turned into
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2, like Flat Stanley plotting Sara Hyperbola's inner spaces. May squishy, folk-singing cucarachas evolve so they toke and fold. We must pass the torch when the Black Rain falls and
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2besides that Irish kings should wear pasties as a last line of defense? Men have nipples because they start as women in the womb. If we could put a stop to gender-bending fetuses
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5He put on a mask to hide his shame; that's when Slipknot called. "Yo, Gorbachev, lookin' bad-ASS. Wanna pound drums and rappity-rap some verses?' Gorbachev liked breaking barriers
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4Grandpa also swigged my last ampule of cerebrospinal fluid and said primal things like, "Sever our link with the One Hard Drive," and "Let's go fishing." Fishing? My encyclopedia
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5Just don't take Jack's surname, Squat. You think you don't know why, but I know you do, you know (can you know I know you know if you don't think you know what I know you know??)?
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3"Don't forget to stop and smell the roses once in a while," my mom said. It's as if she didn't know that inefficiency is a federal crime. I stepped into the teleportation chamber
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1Jesus wanted those zombies for sunbeams, so Christian Billy played a lyre. "God expects me to cry/for all the reasons/you had to un-die." The zombies fled hurriedly; Billy followed
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5. My daughter was Tree Silhouette #4 in the play. The art teacher had chosen a rounder student for the lead role of Moon, a mistake - it always is. My daughter went full brat and
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2but if you ruin a slug's slime trail, it can't find its way home. I instead became more in touch with nature by entangling myself in a garden spider's web. Oh to catch a fly twould
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3After anonymously dominating the Nerf Basketball League for years, I was ready to take my talents to the NBA. But first, I needed a hype shoe deal. I placed a call to Crocs, Inc.
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7"Joy of Cooking," pg. 929, Chicken Nugget recipe: 1) Slaughter chickens 2) Cleave into fun dinosaur shapes 3) Throw away 4) Guzzle pink slime 5) Wash down with soylent pink soda 6)
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3In which case your disposal will come at the hands of my superior intellect. As the cat in the hat, there's no doubt about that. Your inev'table DATs are but THUNKS and ker-SPLATS.