Finished Folds (321—340)
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4"Your band has 9 members but 10 drumkits. Why?" "Bastions of the Mind Shield preach the gospel of jazz metal, and jazz is about the notes you don't hit. Our silent Lollapalooza set
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5Something orange approached. Oh no, plastic six pack rings! The litter wrapped itself around Jo's neck, choking him. The Great Pacific Garbage Patch had invaded all bodies of blue.
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7"Stress can cause sleepwalking, which is exercise, so stress is good for you. Looks like someone just solved health." Anna had a quill-wielding scribe record her every word. Genius
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2"With fire magic, the latin-y words don't make you catch fire; rather, magic shifts our timeline to one in which you'd happen to catch fire via other means. So you see, Your Honor,
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2"Nah. Words have 2 overlapping spellings. Have you stared so hard at a word that you stare it into two? Try it with 'Ghurvtin.' You'll see 'Ghurvtin' & 'Ghurtvin.'" - Apple Support
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4chromosome cannon. Worse yet, Frank wasn't wearing a hang-gliding helmet. A mountie on a pegasus presented Frank with a ticket. Cherubs made sky nudity acceptable, but helmetless
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3I would be ashamed if you could hear my snarky thoughts. Like the pang of guilt an axemurder feels while axeing a vixen into smooshy eighths, this is how I know I'm a good person.
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5Stacy the human Berserker bonked their heads together. "Mike, let's use Steve's armor to bash the cell bars before he reclasses into a Molt Cleric again." The Inquisiteur foreheard
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3Rick was a bundle of organs with a name. As a "human," he'd reached the hightest plane of existence by having rights and a dead-end 9-to-5 job. Lesser animals would kill for Rick's
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4To be immortal, Anna tried to reduce herself to something abstract: 13. You can't kill 13. Anna walked under ladders on Fridays, then broke mirrors with black cats, but that caused
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5"Finders reapers!" said Death the Horseman as he impaled another human. War the Horseman commented, "Tee-hee, you naughty thing. But do leave some reap-ees for us Three, will you?"
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4Flower 1 concluded, "She loves me"; Flower 2 concluded, "She loves me not." It seems even the One Mind all flowers share is susceptible to doublethink. My dystopian flower garden
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3"Is this legal?" "Oh yes. You've been traded to [chain restaurant x] across the street for a burger flipping prospect and a bag of buns. Now turn in your uniform." My dirty nametag
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1They say we miss 100% of the shots we don't take, but thanks to vacuous truth, we also make 100% of such shots. I pondered this on the bench, warm as always, taking pudding shots
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4If time is what keeps everything from happening all at once, then time is also what's holding back progress. Thus, the most efficient way to make progress is to kill time. Example:
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5I believed Aiden when he claimed to be a dancer; dance has no entrance exam. He tapped my back lovingly. "A good dancer romps with purpose, maybe even grace, and charges $40/hour."
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3my Zenpocalypse. Begone, cretin!" Quagmire kept unhealthy secret thoughts, even for a band manager. Deathwish's claustrophobia made him double bass much harder. The walls shattered
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7generic flag, which I waved proudly to trumpet their cause, whatever that was. As a haver of herd mentality, I always respond to hand waving with absolute devotion. My chants were
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3If I hooked up a video game controller to a car, I would be the best driver. Okay, so I'd be a little aggressive around turns and pedestrians, but am I supposed to NOT use turbo?
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5went underground, unaware of interstellar aid. Jherek Manatee, a rebel spy, gave the FSS Ghostwriter a parking ticket to seem pro-gov't. He summoned autochef rebels to Marte Vallis