Finished Folds (741—760)
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6"Pooh, why not hang yourself with Eeyore's tail? Less messy for us," said Rabbit. Piglet couldn't stop stuttering long enough to offer advice. Eeyore became a pure depression ooze
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4keeping his lovebirds quiet. They couldn't help but repeat his bedtime commands ad infinitum around Squawkers's wife. One night, she found red plumage in his prize-winning beard
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4irradiant, but mostly the 1st and 3rd things. King Minos rebuilt the slain Minotaur bit by bit until he wrought the sword-proof MechaMinotaur. The Poodle of Theseus growled, rolled
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2I sat on the pyramidion, easing my legs into my sleeping bag and applying war paint. Jeff said he once slid down all of the Great Pyramid in 48 seconds. Psh, child's play. No pads
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3Ethel's underarm skin was caked in years of chile con carne and baked beans con neglect. "I'm gonna make you more aerodynamic, lunch lady," I said. I wrapped her in a giant hairnet
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4Thelma had turned Calenti into an opossum before. What a disaster. She hid her witch cauldron in her skirt. "Calenti, listen to you - you're even speaking opossum. Away! My frogs
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4So I employed new tactics. I dumped ball bearings and glass shards on the high school football field Forrest Gump cut for free. The jokes still worked on Lt. Dan, that skinny-leg
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5when every girl you know is a puck buddy. The "Puck Buddy" Zone was a concentric circle within the Friend Zone in the hockey mutant community. "Maybe an alien in that star cluster
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4"Her Fist of Justice could be dangerous in the wrong hands -- her hands," said Clan McProud of the bald maiden. Other Clan said, "This fair maiden has an iron will, best be careful
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5lobotomy project will proceed without another hitch, capish?" "Consume feces!" said a less bold crowd member with his herd mentality. The nun decided that eating just one turd
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3-hat Grant fellow crossed me once, I just wanted to get him back." Hold up. "Jesus, you're saying general George McClellan was your second coming? I expected..." "Yeah, I blew it
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5The lady with the bilingual vulva was the show's star. "It's speaking in tongues," said Merman. "No, it's speaking about tongues," said Shiela. It even did sign language for deaf
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5at my front-lower quadrant, easily my best quadrant. "I need a shipment of scarlet letters, boy. I got me some adulterin' to do." This modern adaptation was gritty, no doubt. Hest
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3The mop and busin' tubs had been ground up for the sandwiches, so looking busy was hard. She gazed at the tip ja... hey, the tip jar was gone too! That was that. "Stan, don't eat
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10is inversely proportional to imagination; PurpleProf made 16 accounts, one for each Myers-Briggs type, and wrote her own stories. "I surprise me every time," she cackled. Chaz knew
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5way to 3rd base. It popped out as I executed a face-first slide. "Out!" said the ump. The 3rd baseman may have tagged us on the umbilical cord, but soon we'd be safe at home (aww).
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5He had a secret weapon: the Talkonauts, an evil result of a government program designed to cause aneurysms with gossip. The astronaut unchained the mouth restraints. "Hey, taiko
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5was Barbie? Did anyone else feel like they were just some doll whose furniture was being arranged by a feng shui-ignorant child giant?.. Ken wondered why he was flying downstairs
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6was the morphine on the tips of Neptune's "trident". The camera crew for Nat Geo: Cribs busted into Neptune's sandcastle just as he was administering another dose. "This lady here
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4night, a thief broke in and hit his bed's eject button. Not wearing a seatbelt, he was flung through the roof and crashed into Big Ben. "Heh, I guess the clock struck midnight on