Finished Folds (961—980)
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7The counselor awoke and gave me a teary-eyed hug. "That's the first I've slept in days. You bored those crazy fiends into submission." I took my gift on the road to MMA events and
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4do on math tests called "guess and check". "Is that the ultimate form of rational decision making, Mr. the Operated?" "Well, there is also "guess and check-plus"." Impossible!
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11"I am a luxury hobo. Observe." The bearded man on the beach stuck out his thumb and a cruise liner picked him up. "I've been poor in 35 countries and hundreds of resorts. Follow me
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10He performed acupuncture on his gums to varying degrees of success. As tough on hemorrhoids as they were on his toilet, Mr. Needlepoop eponymous droppings brought him fame in the
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3Jolene, I'm begging of you please don't take my man," to which his eHarmony match would say, "I'm not Jolene, and I prefer straight men." He summoned Dolly Parton and Jack White to
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4Write a song about the Sun being a light that never goes out. The members of K.N.E.E. took a grungier approach to space imagery and sung of the Sun as a black hole. Battle of the
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1put on some plastic foreflippers to become the omega/bitch seal. Some seals raised concerns of the elephant-in-disguise's inclusion in the Seal Olympics. "Those tusks could pierce
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3needed an egg to upgrade their sandwich to a Big BELT. "Look! There's an ostrich sitting on her egg," said one. "I'll distract her with a neck warmer sale and you go swipe it."
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6Play flash games and be as negligibly existent as possible so as not to rock the boat that is the sinking ship we call our company. I'm also writing my résumé for my next job. You?
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5"And then our parents are the artists. Right, Luke?" He nodded. "So why are we paying you for your "work"? Those Kama Sutra poses were the true inspiration." Luke flung paint on
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4explaining to the head zookeeper how my extreme weight gain and the sudden disappearance of animals were not causally related. "Just bulking up for my annual weight loss resolution
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2Having the reputation in college as "The Guy Who Eats A Lot Of Pizza" is not quite a feat, but it might be an accomplishment. My discarded crusts spilled over on my overdue work
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6"That and this, these and those? No one knows!" I shoehorned him into my overcrowded mental hate space, a cozy room with yellow wallpaper and adequate toiletbowlbrushes. Residents
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3and she said hi. Humans and robots had learned to coexist thanks to Sylvia's incredible eyesight and negotiations. Every now and then, a rogue nanomachine would stir things up by
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4The haters of file-sharing blew up his operation. "BitTorrent does experiences? What will they "steal" next?" their ringleader gasped. He destroyed copies of "The Sharing Song" and
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5"It is decided! I will find a Ratgoddess," said Ratgod. He forced a slew potential suitors, in Reality TV fashion, to dance off in the sewer to Ratatat. One by one, they disappoint
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4ain't got nothin' on maximalism. BAM. POW! *explosions* Tom Morello smacking Michael Bay off a helipad while playing both parts of "Dueling Electric Banjos". Sensory Overload JEAH
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7modifying the spelling of words to make them worth more Scrabble points, lowered standards for dining, and the guilt of shunning your local corn farmer. Quorn brand fungus sticks
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5a particularly curious Mars rover was melted down to a puddle. Olympus Mons and Jenny became quite the item. To this day, he enjoys after-love smokes that can be seen from Earth.
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4go stealth in the perfume department. The bunch's funk was infused with rose essence over time. Donning gas masks, they shimmied into the mall through an air vent. Lavender grenade