Finished Folds (941—960)

• 5
  At T.G.I. Friday's, physicists disagree about where this somewhere is. "The proper start to a meal is BBQ Chicken Flatbread." "No, the origin of dinner is Tuscan Spinach Dip."

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  buddyboy4711

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  2013-02-01 19:31:20

• 5
  To pound half of every contradiction into submission until it converts. "I've got the concept of "being born to die" surrounded, Commander!" said Officer We Die To Live. "Orders?"

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  buddyboy4711

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  2013-02-01 19:27:42

• 1
  The lead paint in the buns lead to mass anemia and behavioral issues, which were worsened by the lead-painted toys in the Pretty Patty meals. Worse yet, no refunds were given.

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  buddyboy4711

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  2013-02-01 19:25:01

• 5
  My rump needs a cleansin', big enough to park a Benz in. Dogs be sniffin and nosin around, takin intel to the pound that my scent is outmoded. So name your price, Proc, I'm loaded.

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  buddyboy4711

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  2013-01-26 01:11:22

• 3
  Lipservice. He said, "My Dorito crumbs. We could let gravity do its thing when she walks out of here." I could've sworn I'd seen something move, though. "I'll get the vacuum."

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  buddyboy4711

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  2013-01-22 04:12:04

• 3
  when along came a very hungry caterpillar. "Hey there, little guy, you aren't carnivorous are yo... ack! My torso!" Luckily, Farmer Jane rushed over with her pesticide cannon and

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  buddyboy4711

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  2013-01-20 14:10:55

• 6
  to create a new fact. "Did you know that I'm thinking about lunch?!" A crowd of truth seekers gathered around him. "Did you know I feel cold?" "No, I didn't know that!" said one.

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  buddyboy4711

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  2013-01-19 22:46:05

• 1
  If the ride wasn't set up properly, a teacup would likely fling a kid like a flying saucer right through Epcot. And I would be to blame. "Harvey, give me a wrench, the motherboard

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  buddyboy4711

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  2013-01-19 22:41:30

• 1
  when 'punchline' meant "the farthest back line of a phalanx, where the infantry who forgot their spears make do with what they have". A modern peasant piped up, "Caesar's servants

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  buddyboy4711

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  2013-01-19 22:38:09

• 2
  Moosegirl bopped me with a knuckle sandwich for being a "doo doo brain". I suspected that my black eye was actually a sign of raccoon powers when I got a keen sense for tasty trash

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  buddyboy4711

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  2013-01-06 20:28:23

• 5
  I melted from the hot hot heat that Danny Devito personified. I joined the Hershey kisses in puddlehood and was swiftly licked up. "Does his shortness mean digestion will be quick?

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  buddyboy4711

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  2013-01-06 14:48:59

• 4
  They donned their white sheet metal and leaked gasoline on some crosses in preparation for ritual burnings. The Klansormers wheeled in their first victim, a black F-150 with dual

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  buddyboy4711

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  2013-01-06 14:46:27

• 8
  the Little Debbie recipes tattooed on his upper lip. A border patrol/health food agent stopped him: "Are you smuggling junk food, young man?" Ed said, "Read my lips" and shot him

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  buddyboy4711

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  2013-01-06 14:43:16

• 5
  cut his finger on the Evil LSAT's steel razor edges. He filled in his social security number and the test spat on him and hopped away. Tom chased it but it took a taxi and fled to

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  buddyboy4711

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  2013-01-06 14:39:31

• 3
  staring at me like that?" "Just returning the favor." Anna Nicole Smith took a liking to George, and showed her affection with a makeover. Curious George was given yellow Ugg boots

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  buddyboy4711

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  2013-01-06 14:35:08

• 5
  icial refined sugar. At least the circus spirit is real, though. Every circus peanut is given a gentle trunk hug by a circus elephant balancing on a ball, then tossed through rings

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  buddyboy4711

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  2013-01-06 14:31:26

• 6
  doodled on my Memory Palace, flooding me with false memories of red stick figure poodles. I hosed the Palace and transfered my real memories to a Memory Bank, where interest rates

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  buddyboy4711

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  2013-01-06 14:25:12

• 4
  should suck the tailpipe of a car driving off a cliff." The deaf customer could read facial expressions, so she flipped me off. I referenced my sign language dictionary and learned

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  buddyboy4711

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  2013-01-05 04:03:43

• 4
  which consisted of monkeys (they were willing to work for less than minimum wage). I approached the committee nervously. "My group was hoping to, erm, study the effects of shock

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  buddyboy4711

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  2013-01-05 03:58:37

• 2
  when you collect filled trash bags this is counterproductive. The stench alienated my friends, as did my predictable conversational turns to trash bagging. "Do you prefer TwistTies

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  buddyboy4711

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  2013-01-05 03:55:28