Finished Folds (1061—1080)
-
5The USC scout stalked the talent show. He'd heard rumors of a girl who was "born to hula", and he wasn't one to pass up a chance at a prodigy. Just last year, a hopscotch prodigy
-
1He was toughened up by Nam and the Smiths' split, but this was Little Drummer Boy, damnit, and these 5th graders were ruining it. "Down in front! I want a clean shot at the snare."
-
1"Why take responsibility for my inaction when the universe is a video game and my player is AFK?" "Well, mister, tell your AFK player to take out the trash, or you're grounded."
-
2"Today we'll be making our very own pulleys," said Ms. James. A thousand fists punched through the classroom walls. Oh no, Luddites! Destroying another science lab! The emergency
-
5Is it retarded to think I can wash my hands of the sins of not giving "likes" so my fold has the most "likes" in a story? "I'LL be asking the questions here," said the prosecutor.
-
5ahhh! Stephen King filled the "vent" with a crescent moon Perfection piece. Roy knocked his gun into the slop and fumbled around for it. "Come to daddy," King howled. Burritos
-
5was just imitating. Shady, Fatboy, and Jim sped away from the hobo, leaving him to his own devices. "I wish my own devices could feed me," said the hobo. His transmogrifier device
-
7tats aglow. The beast left a note: "Out for lunch, back in 30. Call me, you know my #." Sister Loo didn't have 30 minutes, what with Father Mike's Cialis wearing off, so she hunted
-
4Being an on-the-scenes reporter is tough enough, but with as many restraining orders as I have, it's nearly impossible. "As you can see, 501 feet behind me, the new animal hospital
-
4Starring in a Point & Click game had its ups and downs. Downs: Being violated by a cursor, watching the Clicker click on the same closet over and over (that's a dead end, stupid!),
-
4A ref blew his whistle and swooped in. "Neutral Zone infraction, on the Enterprise. 5-yard penalty. Replay warp seven." This Homecoming game was getting testy. Starships vs. Aliens
-
7and some pals were transmat-ized to the carnival's Round-Up ride. "Ack, a cornerless prison!" he lamented. The centrifugal force peeled away his bandages, revealing a row of metal
-
6d, but no batteries, Alvin, or Theodore. $19.95 + S&H in all. For a baby Simon, it seemed like a fair deal. I placed a call. "High, question: is baby Simon compatible with the robo
-
4But this time the Jenny Craigers brought back up: Curves women. The Weight Watchers threw scales at them, but the rival gangs had Fruit of the Loom track suits with hyperspeed peri
-
6High Life to camouflage his lowlife tendencies. Tony the Hair Band Tiger would hang around in crowds of Prokaryotes to seem high life-ier by comparison. I took notes on his wife's
-
5next to Scott Weiland. Slash stuck a quarter into the plastic nose ring dispenser and said, "Axel, I've moved on with my life. Can you?" Axel tried to think of a suable charge to
-
4"What IS it?" asked Mike Patton as he reached for the drink. "Bad Mike Patton!" I yelled. "You want it all, but you can't have it." I equipped myself with a laser gun to tag the IT
-
5disturb Miss Nervaura with my gravelly palmspeak. "Would you donate some of your ichor, immortal one?" I asked. "Gold standard and all. Valuable stuff." Door-to-door ichor begging
-
3"No 'what' indeed," my cousin said. He'd bought plain ol' -a-chicken bites instead of the what-a-chicken ones. "That poor first hyphen, dangling in front of the 'a' - ALONE." My PT
-
4Father Brown's peach crop needed a boost, so he injected his peaches with testosterone to accelerate their growth. This led to especially massive, fuzzy peaches that sold for