Finished Folds (1081—1100)
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5So I wore a shirt that read, "You can have me when you pry me from my cold, dead hands." I gave Jo the Cat a dap, unaware of the treacherous world of essence pryers and pliers that
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4my tacky Christmas roof decorations. I nuzzled my inflatable Rudolph and changed his nose lightbulb again, electric bill be damned (It's not like I had a family to support *sob*).
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2Upon his conviction for applecide by bow and arrow, William Tell was thrown into jail with the rest of the appleciders. His cellmate, known only as "Musselman", notoriously juiced
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3paint the to-scale tourists' camera phones. He cut grains of sand to 1/10 their original size for consistency's sake, and blew them into the tourists' eyes. The Cheops' alien archi
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2with the help of Rosetta Stone. My accent was forced, and my words were a crude, broken spanglish at best. Maria wanted a fancy honeymoon, so I tried out for a testimonial spot
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5centimeter by centimeter, then millimeter, etc., until I ran out of metric prefixes. I was living Xeno's Paradox on and off. I kept things close in the event of impossible motion.
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2"Oh of course it's 'C', the obviously wrong choice," I thought as I filled in the oval. I'd installed a sarcasm detector on my school's Scantron the day before. My high test scores
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5gave her a few kinds of warts. Even worse, the frog refused to transform into a prince. He was getting way more action now than he ever did as a human. He croaked suggestively at
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2slay the 99% cotton from the jeans at JCPenney. We must save the 1% spandex!" A magic undergarment of lesser elasticity piped up, "Last week it was polyester. Now cotton is evil?"
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9get mauled by the lionesses in the front row, who couldn't resist the smell of fear mixed with that of his new rabbit's foot necklace. The Kangaroo bouncers tried to break them up
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4amilyCircus, a stealthily antiquated comic strip audiobook series I kept running next to the snacks. It was the best way to keep guests and oranges away. My health food allergies
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4image of Jesus. He branched out from toast to keep up with American breakfast choices. Panqueques Santos became a Bob Evansgelical delicacy. Stefoni's Hot Pocket was next. His face
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1Welcome to Purgatory Diner, sir. If you pay with your Purity Card, you will eventually earn enough rewards points for a flight to heaven. If it interests you, today's special is
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4"Kiddies, here's another picture of me being photobombed by time," said Granny. It was the only way she knew how to explain being old but young at heart. Her wrinkles deceived
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1In a world where all well-to-do folks lived in glass terrariums, neatly organized into rows, hobos were distrusted. What were they hiding behind those cardboard walls?
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5with a dash of yesteryears. This temporal platter was really gonna hit the spot. Reading any kind of history makes my mouth water. I had an aged 1984 sexy fireman calendar in the
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2It was late. Dale tucked in the prized members of his Beanie Babies collection and curled up on the floor. He wouldn't sleep in bed with them, not since the night he rolled onto
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1Why he built his log cabin below the Howler Monkey Ski Resort was beside the point. He sat on his porch with a bottle of cherry flavoring & a paper cone as the avalanche approached
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3failed, so buddyboy4711 is still disrupting the GreenBananas' Star Fox Fan Club meetings with heavy metal racket. Typical. But I, Capt. Kiefer, enter Foldinus Prime with earbuds &
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4-erf sniping with the sinister winds they conjured. Hunting Trick-or-Treaters with foam tranquilizers was tradition. He couldn't settle for Wal*Mart goat's blood again, after Satan