Finished Folds (1101—1120)
-
3," and took a lore axe to Dr. Seuss's books. The (Evil, Apparently) Archaeologist was on a quest to destroy truth. The Cat in the Hat faded into oblivion. Seuss wrote faster, but
-
4Spam Baby needed to break out of this daycare, and fast. He shook his rattle to alert L'enfant Sausage, who was nibbling on a wean pocket. The two tykes battered down the baby gate
-
1"Jefrey (With one 'f', 'Jefrey'!)! Jefrey (With one 'f', one 'f'!)!" sang the Mars Red Rovers cheer squad. Their quarterblark, Jefrey Zorg, scored a touchdown. The DE and RT lifted
-
4he crushed the traffic conductor's foot. She pointed to Hell, as if to direct him there. Her instructions were followed faithfully by the traffic jam of Virgil drill vehicles when
-
3I tried to curse the gods but my lips were chapped shut. Was I trapped in a Burt's Bees ad? I forced a grin and opened a window, hoping that cliché would end it. An animated swarm
-
5Scorpio - Order the crispy bean curd at the Peking House Chinese restaurant. You will meet a cat. Save it from its fiery doom. Consult the fortune cookie for further instructions.
-
9said silly ribbits about how trips are for kids. Buddyboy MMMDCCXI conferred, and took a hit. Chaz now regretted letting him sit in the shopping cart. His grocery list melted on
-
1." The Scripps spelling bee was even harder in person. "Country of origin?" "Typewritermonkeytopia." These clues were useless. I felt a dizzy spell coming on, so I leaned against a
-
5a roommate with identical sleep patterns and taste in music. His only choice was to clone himself... Despite initial compatibility, he soon found Otherhim too unhygienic for
-
2I gasped for cooler air. I knew I shouldn't have left the outer limits of the Basement Dimension without an AC tank, or at least a portable fan. The last of my hydration beaded
-
4He dropped his "intelligent" requirement for a date in favor of any kind of life. Any at all. But alas, nada. Maybe his standards were too high. The red sand over there was pretty
-
3Probably because they swapped Kraft parmesan for cocaine, and canned mushrooms for psilocybin ones. "How did you guys modify the crust, Gene?" I asked. He pointed to a vat of butte
-
4roundhouse kicking myself for taping Delta Force over my lone VHS of Delta Farce. I had gleefully taped Delta Farce over my wedding video, but transitive glee wasn't working. If A
-
2prolonged the inevitable (I lost some lottos too: My life support ran on gravitational potential energy). I'd surely die when I touched down Down Under, unless my moon shoes' claim
-
6hypnotized the studio execs into giving him a 9-figure budget. Michael Bay always got his way - there would be no stopping "Groundhog Night". Onto Bill Murray's house he marched,
-
2Roger Ebert gave it a thumbs-down. "You don't think video games are art, so why bother?" I asked him. Ebert was an annoying houseguest. He thumbs-downed my mom's lasagna too. Criti
-
5I pulled out a jar. "Is this the jar in which you trapped your alleged "stank" at Denny's this morning?" "Yes, it was a wet fart named Seabiscuit." I opened the lid. Fumes ate away
-
5Instruments of brass destruction. The Pied Piper impaled his closest followers with tubas and french horns, leaving behind sheet music composed entirely of long rests. Middle Aged
-
5The cab fare really added up though. "Stop changing my station, or I'll kick you guys out," the driver told us. Doin' it country in the Big Apple was tough. No cows to tip, no meth
-
3And make it double. Rather than reaching for the stars just yet, I built a lair in my janitor's closet at the rocket propulsion lab. From eavesdropping, I knew that adding cyanide