Finished Folds (1121—1140)
-
8pens, paper, and origami books. Stories were folded into swans floating on a lake, and airplanes en route to a neighboring village. The foldiogenesis led to species of storytelling
-
8It was the last copy of "Frog and Toad are Friends" left in existence. The radical wing of the National Preschool Board was eradicating all evidence of picture books. Prose reigned
-
3translate the Bible into a series of waterproof orca audiobooks. "Thou shalt not kill" was met with a collective whale chuckle. Upon being swallowed, I, unlike Jonah, was digested.
-
1Except Mac "Three-Lips" McScripps. He had a third lip on his back, and although his realtor inner voice shouted, "Location! Location!", he forced a chuckle. The emperor cut off two
-
5-us, super-calloused, ex-Cialis users merrily popping bubbly. "Why do they have to segregate the clubs based on sweatiness and undesirability?" I wondered, unable to look away from
-
0-ening. "Sorry, Chef Ramsey, all I heard was "short" and assumed you meant shortening, not shortcake." Ramsey blew a gasket. "I said shortbread! Don't add random endings to words t
-
2-mer mystics awfully jealous. Ratsputin lurked in the aether, ready to pounce on Barack's mouse/VP. Prior the Vice Presidential debates, Ratsputin planted a trap with cheese and
-
7getting revenge on the cankles that wronged me. My snake teeth bit my ex-wife, Tina, injecting the venom. She was too fat for it to have an effect, so I tried Plan B: Constriction.
-
5I led her to the lab's eye wash station, which had a lint trap. "This should get all the little fuzzies off," I told her as her head rested on the hamster-powered gizmo. Disaster
-
5Life's after party was a drag. Luckily, heaven had a VIP room where Jesus and ilk hung out. I approached the bouncer, who asked, "Two trains, one leaving..." I gave Hell a try.
-
5baked the perfect loaf of bread: aromatic, voluminous, butter-accessible. "But no one will buy bread from a guy named Mattie Moe Man," they said. So he changed his name to Sara Lee
-
3The idiots would stare into the sun for hours, then cry when it disappeared at night. Agent Bake Eyes watched it with his binoculars. "Still yellow, boss!" Their world domination
-
4, and Big Lion on a liver chopping plant's conveyor belt. Chillbot, cousin to Clever-, said,"FoldingStory stardom sure beats unemployment, Det. Manatee. Look at Clifford." The dog
-
3vanished. The ad execs, no longer in need of Mays's services, sprayed him with NEEDAWAY. The utilitarian product teleported Billy to a home in need of sodium percarbonate agents.
-
4, then the bear torso it was attached to. "Any 2-ply?" he asked. It made sense that the Charmin bears were corprophiliacs -- too much sense. "How do I know you're who you claim?"
-
5I thought if I could get my weight up from 21 grams to about 30, the female ghosts would pick me. Isn't that how supernatural selection works? I asked a biologist, but he screamed
-
3-guard, who knew too much about our affair. "Should we kill the movie theatre usher too?" she asked me. "He did see us making out during the Julia Roberts trivia." Our ammo supply
-
3Everyone's bodies evaporated, track suits and all, except for their Nikes. "Perfect," I said. I would add them to the ones I stole next to the ball pit. No shoes were safe whilst
-
4. It said, "It seems you wish to speak to a lawyer. Anything you say can and will be used against..." Scared, he pushed 777. "It's your lucky day! To claim a prize, press 1. To die
-
5"Sir, perhaps a volcanic eruption would release the sewage," said Gutterlips, brain-blasting aloud. Trenchmouth replied, "It is worth the risk of our doom. Prod the magma!" A large