Finished Folds (1321—1340)
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6on the run from Scrapplepooch, and needed a spambulance. "Help!" Pork roll cried as the doggy gouged away. Spambaby loaded the Kevin Bacon bits into his shotgun and fired at
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54 inches, the perfect height for platform double suede shoes. Astaire and Rogers electric slid to my eggheaded assistant's protruding frontal lobe. "The zombies - they love me!" he
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10We would soon be "scarce" because The Auto-Completes were twisting our every thought. I tried to "flee", but they forced me to "fleece" a sheep. My new coat couldn't save me from
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7rabbit cushioned East in her camel yoga pose. "Easter and Wabbit Season coincide this year," The Bunny told her. "I just wanna hide eggs, not dye trying." He nervously ate another
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4She thought her Wii Nunchuks prepared her for the ninja nunchuks she awkwardly wielded. But she saw her son playing Assassin's Creed through his bedroom window. Was he an assassin?
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1The dictator gathered the propagandists-to-be for his instructions. "Instead of a resume, design a poster that proclaims your superiority over the other candidates. Only one of you
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2the rubber ducky all the way up to Bert's facial hair, along with your eyes. Like an awning to sunlight, his blinged-out unibrow protected his eyes from sweat and the occasional
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5Mark had been standing at the altar for 45 minutes, but he was willing to give Jess the benefit of the doubt. His "innocent until proven jilty" outlook came back to bite him when
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2the electric chair I strapped it to at the end of the plank went haywire. The owl transformed into Electric Owl, hero of all endangered species. With its innate owl wisdom and
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4Empire Beauty School's "Locks For Jocks" and "Call of Beauty" recruitment campaigns led to an influx of self-proclaimed "bros" in last year's freshman class. The impact on
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5I telepathically suggested to a weak-minded mailroom intern, "Ship me to a brain enthusiast, or a gifted lecturer." I soon found myself on Hannibal Lecter's doorstep. My cerebellum
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4Grandpa carried on, "Back in my day, our good ideas lit torches, not bulbs. I remember when I caught wind of some necromancing scallawags, ooh boy. Ghosts don't like fire, nor do
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4I snapped. "If you know so much, how come you married the omega wolf?" Dad was lying in a ray of sunlight leaking into the den, howling drunkenly. Mom fought back tears; her hands
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6carefully stitched on a fresh layer of skin. Cape Cadaveral Barbie was Mattel's latest attempt to appeal to the young male demographic. The real bones, forensic pathology kit, and
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4inhabited biceps willy-nilly. My courage left as well; it inhabited liquor drinkers. The mass exodus of emotions left me feeling... nothing, really. I was a computer with limbs and
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5d 2) They were in time so college did not matter. "Dripping vodka is my peak, and it's locked in time forever, so why trudge on?" Prof. Dumfarht asked me. He wrote his memoir, "Vod
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6to add me to the Dam of the Damned. The River Styx had been backed up for centuries. Beaversquatch flossed the wood shavings from his teeth and set his eyes on my plastic tail. My
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11But he rode that bus to work and back. He ignored the stops and just kept riding, no matter how many others boarded. One day that bus ran out of fuel, so he found himself a new bus
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1was circumferencial. El Santa did his best to put a Corona under every palm tree. But instead of fizzy Coke, El Santa indulged in cocaine. His image took a hit when
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7!!!" I awoke with a start. Mom said, "You can't sleep until story time is over. Respect the completion." Her window shopping narrative was making my eyes heavy. Nap time sounded