Finished Folds (1341—1360)
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6fantasy in which I relieve priests of their heads and tossed their bodies through stained glass windows. I must've been struggling to separate fantasy from reality because
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5an hourglass appeared, along with an error message that read, "Insufficient Sin Contemplation". Then God obtained my email address and spammed me with ads for heaven. Purgatory
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4"Om... elet." And with that, Buddha officially sold out. "Enlightenment has showed me the Way... to Denny's." The commercial aired during an episode of
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7my entire life was playing out like the screenplay for an instructional video entitled "How Not to Love". A red "X" was to be "superimposed on every love scene," according to the
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6He decided to make the best of Jesus's resurrection and went hunting for bass eggs. "I hope this one has Whoppers," he said, cracking one open. A zombie bass noodler eyed him from
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7180 degrees, so I can hide my shame." When the bartender turned around, I broke a bottle over his head and locked the doors. But I didn't realize that someone was in the bar's bath
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8but even Keats's vocab would flounder in the company of such a perfect knee. The way it joined such a beefy thigh with that giant leg was beyond me. And no arthritis to speak of!
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4-geridooed the "Upholstery Blues". It was the lead single on Tony's debut album, "White Tiger Problems". Other tracks included "Too Many Guest Dens," "No Stripes Left to Earn," &
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4the Karma Police arrested my karma for cruel and unusual punishment. In jail, my karma was bunked with the karma of a moral saint who was reincarnated into an aquarium rock. My spi
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5The philanthropist's apprentice asked his master, "So before I can give away my millions of dollars, I must first acquire millions of dollars? This is harder than I thought." Lunch
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1. Mr. Cullen had no friends, but luckily he had set aside funds for mourners-for-hire to attend his funeral. They were trained to breathe through veils and cry at organ notes. Va
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6my proctologist. I stormed into his office, knocking down several "Colon of the Month" photos in the process. "Doc, I can't drive my semi; the following ailments plague my colon:
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6ulations from the fire department clearly state that the bar's maximum safety capacity has been exceeded by one. The Frenchman, Mexican, and African-Canadian play Russian Rou
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6"But mom, I can't do the laundry when there's a cellar parallax. The detergent keeps moving." Mother rolled her third eye. She grabbed her trinoculars and investigated the
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3drastic ties call for drastic measures, but is a shoe knot drastic?" I checked my knot-to-peril conversion chart as I placed my burnt clothes in the hamper. "A noose knot would be
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7"What if, instead of a water cycle, there were a pizza cycle? Discarded crusts would evaporate and..." The Nobel Committee listened intently. Einstein's latest thought experiments
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4her vocal cords had been turned into vocal accordions by an evil witch. Her melodic cries of self-pity and existential torment resonated throughout the alley. He decided to shoot h
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6"Where to?" asked the taxi driver. He looked back, noticing a burly, armored man wielding a halberd. "Raiders fan?" The man gripped his weapon. He was actually an executioner from
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11"Did we..." "Yes," she said. "How was I?" he asked. She handed him her pleasure map. "You missed all the X's, but it was good for me, 'Long John'." His ex was into pirate role play
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7I cast a healing spell on my dad and an anti-grounded charm on myself. At level 36, I upgraded my axe to "dark temptation" and went to the Bar sector of the Downtown region. A girl