Finished Folds (121—140)
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4Nary a leg between them, and one of the triplets was blue for some reason. Stuff like this happens when the mom does Bikram Yoga during pregnancy; the oven overheats and the buns
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1panache. Wreathed in Cheetos dust, he asked, "You're saying that I shouldn't fantasize about having two women when I have you in the palm of my hand?" She slapped him, adding oomph
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3up his daughter from Witchcraft 101 if he's out killing Orcs? The King concluded that lowering the standard of living would keep Orcs from immigrating. A wee plague-causing spell
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6teeth and barked, "I get it now. What we have, it's not love, it's a symbiotic phase. I protect the house, fill the emotional void left by your ex, and you feed me." My heart broke
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3"Happy Birthday!" we yelled as mom walked in. The washing machine had a giant bow like the Lexus ads. "Wow, now I can wash my bikini for the trip to Tahiti I didn't get," she said.
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2"Nothing gold can stay," wrote Robert Frost. Perhaps he was moved by golden boardwalk fries in the clutches of a seagull. I brought a notebook to the beach, expecting inspiration.
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4Anna loved Tori, even though Tori was the ephemeral sort. Today, she was a prog epic, going on 27-minute tangents about... centaurs? the occult? Anna fell asleep on her mozz sticks
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1waiting till Christmas to unwrap your drugs and bombs is the reason for the season. I swung the metal detector wand like a katana. We TSA officers were above feudal lords but below
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6how wrinkled my clothes were getting. Cute blondes come and go, but a concert T-shirt is a versatile wardrobe staple effective year-round. While she slept, I plugged in the iron
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2No more dirty thoughts. Gotta let my sense of humor mature, I said. Then Ma gave me a meatloaf tip at dinner: "Too much touch dries out the meat." C-can't.. resist.. lotion joke...
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0"Sir, you can't make chicken salad out of chicken shit," I reminded him. All these culinaristas are getting downright alchemical. He threw off the stinky Hamburger Helper glove and
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5Sleet reminds us mere mortals to be decisive: Am I snow? No, I'm rain. Wait, I'm sn-SMASH! dead. People ask me, "Mr. Jim Cantore, how are you so buff?" and I say, "A diet of sleet
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2he paid for this room? That chandelier was worth 4 stars on its own. He struggled to wipe the blood off his lip because of the boxing gloves. Hmm, maybe he was a boxer. A jump rope
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2, fashioning a shiv from a 100 yuan note. "Mmm, yes," Crumley replied. "I do believe I took out 12 hits. It seems my assassin wasn't up to your snuff, the poor clod." Moore charged
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7they'd find love. Mark seduced the maid, who was willing to settle for him, and big bro Charity used a dating site for gay male candlemakers called Wax and Wayne. See, love is easy
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9Beatrix was ahead of her classmates, parent-teacher conference be damned. She already had 3 pen names, 50 poems each. "Mr. and Mrs. MacKenzie, hide your rum. Young poets will drink
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1The wedding was more "Yakety Sax" than "Here Comes the Bride" because
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3The girl on the radio sang, "He has South Dakota arms," and I have no idea what that could possibly mean. Why not North Dakota arms? Are his arms on the Mt. Rushmore of arms? Help!
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1he played the octuple bass. Havran soul-sang along, thus impregnating the few women in the Georgian club with triplets. According to math, this meant more clubbers. A music critic
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4but The Rift mustn't be seen by non-siblings. Kaelen tied a string around my waist and I dove in. I visited the past to prevent Terisha from becoming so snarky, a noble cause.