Finished Folds (1741—1760)
-
2they took the Giving Fig Tree's stump too. "First Fig Newtons, then branch apparel, and now this?" Reduced to mere roots, the GFT had no choice but to move back in with Barq, his
-
6As they showered in the YMCA locker room after a long day of egging and invading, the Ghurtvins contracted athlete's foot. "The fungus is among us!" they crooned.
-
5on the verge of a heat stroke. The only drink they had was hot coffee. "Hey Susie, the grass says, 'Don't graze me, bro.'" Susie handed him a flier for Moolattes and tipped over.
-
5"Drak, be gentle with the ear prop!" said the stage manager. "And no bloodsucking during kissing scenes. We're out of female understudies." Drak wanted to turn into a bat, but he
-
3She searched her Catholic neighbor's flowerbed for Easter eggs. "Oh boy, this one has Whopper malt balls!" she exclaimed. "Does 'malt' mean 'malt liquor'?"
-
5I made a call. "Hi, America's Most Wanted? Yes, I have a lead on Waldo. He was an extra on the 'Franklin and Bash' pilot. Do I get a reward?" Suddenly, I heard footsteps outside.
-
3the pitchman's voice was so sexy that I just had to meet him. I walked to ASOTV's headquarters and rang the doorbell, roses and chocolates in hand. "Anyone there? Toilet Bowl Guy?"
-
6her Mars Costco had it in bulk. A winged cephalopod dropped a metric ton of unpasteurized cheese on the counter. "A fine choice, sir," said Jezikara. But the creature pulled out a
-
4named Timmy who was an insurance salesman/Jehovah's witness. He rode door-to-door in his Magic Wagon, selling life/afterlife policies. But one day, the Magic Wagon broke down in
-
3-tsie pop price hikes must have been haunting their thoughts. How did they not notice notice that the cornerstone of our Walloby Prep Pride Pyramid was missing? I had to snap them
-
3"The increased proximity to the Sun is working a number on my pasty skin," I thought. But the WiFi at the peak was lag-free. I turned on my PS3 and saw that IAmYeti was online.
-
3English? The indigenous tribes of Papua New Guinea were hard to communicate with. I tried again, slowly: "I want go. You have BOAT?" Chief Marsha pointed at her goat. Close enough.
-
4The laity stood and chanted the 2.0 verses of "Serve the Servers." Ned brushed the Doritos crumbs from his cleric robe in preparation for his Liturgy on Intelligent Web Design.
-
6Mpayhba, a.k.a. the Trampoline Planet, was a popular destination for kids and elephants alike. But sometimes, adept bouncers would sail beyond the atmosphere and into the asteroid
-
5She tied up his kids and dangled them over the bubbling fry basket. "Let the Tots go," said Potato Head. She replied, "Then confess, Mr. Angry Eyes. Or should I say, Darth Tater?!"
-
5silverfish stew on a silver platter with a bottle of Coors (the Silver Bullet beer). The werewolf spontaneously combusted as "Silver and Gold" played in Cher's kitchen. Cleanup was
-
4To: "Bob" <boss@corneroffice.HRG.com> Subject: Blah blah blah, your needs. Body Text: Hey Bob, I'm out sick because I'm allergic to stupid. I work for you. Any connection? -Nick.
-
3I immediately ruled out the shrooms. The sushi was a more likely culprit. I attempted to ask, "Honey, do these TNT rolls taste a bit... inky?", but my speech was so slurred that
-
7rivaled that of Moses and Steve Jobs. Capt. Rand's latest prophecies were fuzzy, though, because her arch nemesis, Sergeant Heymon, was turning the braids of space into dreadlocks.
-
5To learn what it's all about, those who did a hokey job were turned around, given a good pokey, and thrown in the Chokey. No one who put their left foot in there ever got it out.