Finished Folds (1781—1800)
-
6Had Dice broken his crown? Either way, the clock had struck midnight on his career. He'd need to eat his curds and whey to climb the water spout to the top of the stand-up heap.
-
0Now the intellectual ABC gum longed to experience emotions as well (in addition to meta-emotions). "Chew me into a heart," said the gum. But Billy just blew a bubble and tossed it
-
6beached whales. She couldn't resist the way he brought her candlelit breakfast in bed. But when she knocked over the candle, they were engulfed in sage-and-citrus-scented flames.
-
1science educator (ARSE), he was unimpressed with Chung's goods. "Only two boobs, dear?" he said. "The Zwarks in the Tetragramma Sector have ten, and four tongues to boot."
-
4for forgiveness, claiming I was addicted. "You're not a cookie addict," they said. "You're a cookie monster." Their words stung. How was Oscar just a 'junkie', and I a 'monster'?
-
3"Mr. Lecter, thank you for your testimony," sad the judge. "You are hereby convicted of cannibalism, jaywalking, and medical malpractice. I sentence you to a vegan diet." Lecter
-
6"Sad Statue" when a group of Gargoylian protestors drowned Him out. "Our feelings will be pigeonholed no longer!" one yelled. "Pepto 4 Pigeons!" "Coup Coup!" The One Pigeon seized
-
4-p through the glass as my essence reduces to an interdimensional goo that drips into a puddle on the other side. According to the brochure, I've entered the Grunge-Baroque Era.
-
2-iter was highly impractical (2 lightyears per gallon!). I spent most of my rewards on fuel, but such was the life of an intergalactic mercenary. Whiskey Witch's next job for me
-
5Tuma with 400 Volts. Mala had learned to telekenetically transfer electricity from such sources as lamps and slides. Whenever the lights dimmed, someone was about to get a jolt.
-
4an English hobo lessor. Sid accepted an offer for a place outside a smelting factory. "Welcome to Helter-Shelter, ye Sun Belter," said Veltre the hobo. "Oxford's dorms have nothing
-
8! "Can it be?" He feared the Wicked Woodchipper was messily chipping his niece. "If the noise increases," said Det. Manatee, "My niece decreases to pieces." He opened his trusty
-
6, her silk podiatric slippers put the pedal to her Porshce's metal. The trooper only had a stick-shift mustang (the horse), so Blanche was getting away. But then her gout flared up
-
8, buddyboy (the 4,711th and only) realized he'd missed the FoldingStory Anonymous Meeting. "I wrote 70 folds today, at 30 words per fold," he mused. "That's more than a 2,000-word
-
3way... An infomercial blared: "Do YOU have more dead bodies than your freezer can hold? Well now there's Carcass Carp, the freshly noodled fish that munches the mortified. Call
-
7McDonalds. The weatherman climbed in and placed an order. "Yes, I'd like a Mc-FLURRY, please. Ooh, and is your Filet-O-Fish made from fresh HAIL-ibut?" The cashier groaned at Jake
-
7Honey came in and said, "Sorry dear, but I had a sandpaper accident." She smiled, revealing suddenly razor-sharp teeth. I shuddered. "Actually Honey, just the beer would be nice."
-
4body during an astral projection and had some fun making bogus readings: "That wrinkle means you're immortal"; "You're a Scorpittarius"; and "You must start a blog, Your Highness"
-
5"Ba ba black sheep, have you any Bull?" I asked. She said, "Yes sir, yes sir, three crates full," and handed me the latest shipment. But the Red Bull was "sugar"-free, so I grabbed
-
5, "First you made me a wooden cross in shop class, and now I smell garlic bread coming from your Buffy the Vampire Slayer lunchbox." Principal Silvernail had a batty countenance