28 Folds
-
2
Mommy used to sit and play the slots all day while he waited in the car. It was very exciting when he became a Big Boy and was allowed inside to run between the machine and the ATM -
2
we'll just have to make sure we set the recorder on fire, too. The Motel 6 staff would like to thank you all for your patience and recommend exiting the building before the fire
-
2
if you give it a quick rinse in turpentine. Sure, it'll burn your tongue a little, but that just emphasizes the flavor. Don't be a pussy, Jeremy. Eat your turps, it's good for you.
-
2
"If I give you chocolate cake," said Odysseus, "will you make chocolate milk?" The cow paused, looking thoughtful. "If I'm in the right MOO-d," she replied.
-
1
The WompMonster's latest creation was little Christmas-themed elf booties for dogs. He'd had great success on Etsy and knew it was time to move to a brick and mortar storefront.
-
2
but instead I ended up watching a baking show. As it turns out, pie making is a matter of science! With that I started my baked goods empire and employed a curse breaking wizard.
-
1
Although the giraffe had no birds to flip, his sneer made his disdain clear. The pirate captain trembled in his boots and suggested, "how about we just neck a beer together?"
-
2
His eyes, normally bright blue, had changed into yawning black abysses. They gaped like open wounds in his face. I shrieked and stumbled out of the room. No more imagination!
-
1
released an army of fluffy minions into the store. The clerk came back, wearing a horrified expression. "What have you done?" they demanded. "Caused a cat-astrophe," I replied.
-
2
hear his grunts of exertion. He put his back into it, but not his grip strength, and the lob wedge went flying through the air. He heard a crunch and pathetic mewling. The cougar!
-
3
"So can you, like, just catch my soul and stick it back into my body?" he asked the reverse exorcist. "Yesss," hissed the reverse exorcist, "but for a price..."
-
2
"Go ahead, witch," I snarled. "Duck the police! They're all runts!" The old woman gasped in disapproval and slammed her shutters closed. "Anyone else got a trucking problem?"
-
3
In fact, the Death by Chocolate routine quickly proved to be so popular that Brother Jacobs, a former business student, realised they could be raking in the cash.
-
0
The Pope bowed. The attendants standing behind him screamed as his skimpy robes rode up to reveal the frilly bloomers beneath.
-
3
I glanced around desperately, looking for anything that would work. I had to escape this gluten-free, vegan, organic hellscape before I turned into a piece of tofu. Ah - a bag of
-
3
"My polo shirt is red," muttered Craig, inserting a finger into his navel, "so why is the fluff navy?" He swiped a piece of lint and held it up to his nose, inhaling deeply.
-
2
within a year of completing the program. Though the lima beans were a cruelty-free, sustainable option, the zombies just couldn't resist the rich, meaty aroma of human flesh.
-
3
before picking up the pooper scooper and scooping up the bee's body. "Rest in peace, you little maniac," the expert said, flicking it into the garden bed.
-
1
armed only with a bucket of watered down bleach and our Sham-Wow!™ cleaning cloths. "To me, men!" I shouted, "let's scrub these scrubs!"
-
4
I had to get out of here quickly, before my skin sloughed off my body. I pulled the bowie knife out of my boot and slashed blindly at the creature's slimy stomach walls.